How Does It Feel?
by BlondeAmbition25
Summary: Sonia Viggers is a promising up and comer in the ranks of the New Order. After quickly gaining the attention of one General Hux, her secret won't be kept for long before she falls under the spell of another Dark Knight. Can she make the right decisions on who to trust, or will her ambition and sharp tongue lead to her ultimate undoing? BDSM, halfsie Non-Con, Murder, Betrayal, etc.
1. Humble Beginnings

DISCLAIMER: This story is for entertainment purposes only, for my comrades in Fanfic to enjoy. No profit will be made from it, and all things Star Wars belong to the powers that be, and certainly not me

This is not a love story. There are no bright eyes and bushy tails, no declarations of affection, no selfless sacrifices. This story is backstabbing, lust, greed, manipulation, self doubt, and shows of strength. And as I lay here on this cobbled stone floor, my crimson blood pooling around me, seemingly approaching an untimely end, I find myself reflecting back on where it all went wrong. In order to do that though, we have to go back, back ten years ago when I made my first bad decision…

At first glance, my small stature and fair features may deceive a passerby into thinking I would make some Officer a fine, obedient, and trophy of a wife. I give the appearance of an angelic child but I am certainly no angel. I grew up on Dantooine with a farming family seemingly indifferent to galactic politics as long as they didn't affect the farm. From a young age, I learned the value of a hard day's work and to appreciate it, and the roughness of my small "delicate" hands proved the point. A typical family: my mother passive and kind, and my father tempestuous and stern. He always taught me to set the bar high for myself, to strive for perfection and never settle for less.

His high expectations proved to be the catalyst in my life. My force sensitivity as a youngling went mostly by blind eyes, although it had a bad habit of revealing itself when my temper flared. A few unfortunate bullies had the pleasure of finding surrounding objects hurled decidedly at them when they pushed me, usually followed by some sort of retort from my sharp tongue. Throughout my childhood and adolescence, I often felt as though I did not fit in with the others. Although I could get along with most of them, I never felt much of a connection to anyone or anything, striving for something that seemed to be just out of grasp, an understanding no one seemed to comprehend. I buried myself into my studies, not naturally the most brilliant, but hardworking enough to close the gaps and set me at the top of my class.

It wasn't long into my 18th year, that I was tapped by the First Order. Sure I had heard the whispers and idle gossip of how the First Order was secretly building up its forces through the rubble, beginning to ruthlessly tear through the galaxy, undermining the Republic wherever possible, and pummeling through anything that got in the way. But again, I had never been one for politics, so I ignored the rumblings and let myself be captivated by their promises of travel, adventure, and a quick path to leadership and responsibility within the officer ranks. My parents supported my decision and encouraged my search for success, and as we had never had a particularly close relationship, leaving seemed to be a natural next step devoid of much emotional distraught. The terms of the agreement were that everything had to be kept confidential for fear of any involvement from the New Republic, so to everyone else, I was simply off to Coruscant to attend University. Looking back, my ignorance to the ways of the galaxy and the First Order were by far my first grand mistake.

After several connecting spaceflights, clad only with my most essential belongings, I finally arrived at the secret location I had been provided to train at the First Order Academy. The last flight I was on contained only newly admitted officers in training like myself, and the anxiety of all aboard was palpable, sitting buckled in and packed like sardines, trying a great deal to avoid eye contact with any of the others. We had already been fitted and were donning the standard uniform of black tunic, pants, and cap. The material was stiff to maintain its perfectly pressed appearance, and it had a bit of an itch to it, but the silhouette and color came across surprisingly flattering, and at the end of the day if they would be laundering it I was not about to complain. My long blonde hair was slicked back into the tightest bun I could muster and had started to give me a headache, only adding to the discomfort and anxiety.

Relief overpowered me as I finally set foot on the ground again, my two large sacks carried unceremoniously over my shoulders. Their sheer size nearly matched mine, and I found myself smiling at the thought of what I must look like to those that I passed. As my standard issue boots gently clicked across the floor of the hanger, I rounded a corner and saw the largest ship I had ever set my eyes upon. Without thinking I dropped my bags to the ground and stood with my mouth open wide enough to catch insects. My trance was abruptly halted when I heard a loud chuckle from beside me.

"I take it you must be from the Outer Rim?" a red headed officer next to me commented with an amused and somewhat condescending expression.

"Dantooine." He smirked when I looked at him like he was amused at something I was missing.

"Yes, that explains it then. Well, that is what we call a Star Destroyer, the finest that will have ever been built," he almost had a twinkle in his eyes as he went over it. I noticed he seemed to be wearing a rather dashing overcoat about his shoulders, and found myself wondering if it meant something or was merely standard issue that all of us would receive in time.

"The Finalizer right? At least that's what I hope it is because that's around where I'm supposed to be." A fleeting thought crossed my mind that perhaps there had been some mistake in my flight schedule and I had turned up at the wrong location at the other end of the galaxy, I glanced in the distance hoping to see some sort of signage indicating a registration office.

"Then you're in the right place. You must be a new outside recruit for the Academy?"

"Yes, that's right."

"Impressive," my cheeks felt warm and I became a bit flushed, the look he gave me started to wander lower than my eyes and turn from amusement and condescension to something…more complex.

"Armitage Hux," the man said as he extended his gloved hand my direction.

"Sonia Viggers," I kept on my smile and shook his hand. We exchanged light conversation as he led the way towards the registration office, and in the process I discovered his father had been quite an important Commandant, and he had trained at the Arkanis Academy. I found myself somewhat drawn to him, he seemed determined, regal, and decisive about what he wanted, which were all qualities I admired a great deal. Several we walked past seemed to scurry off in an opposing direction and look over out of the corner of their eyes. With concern I kept looking over my uniform, afraid something must be out of place.

When we reached the registration office, all those inside immediately stood to their feet, and suddenly I realized what all the looks must have been about.

"General Hux, sir." The woman seated at the front desk greeted him with reverence as we approached.

"General? I'm sorry I didn't know…" I looked down at my feet and tried my best to mirror the salute the others were giving him.

"Don't worry, your ignorance is actually quite amusing." He chuckled a little to himself.

"At ease, please see Ms. Viggers is set up appropriately."

"Yes sir."

"Well Sonia, perhaps our paths will cross again at some point." He gave me a half smile and marched away.

The next year had come and gone quite quickly, filled with long nights of studying and practicing combat moves over and over again, doing whatever I had to in order to succeed. It once again served me well and I developed a reputation for my hard work ethic and attention to detail, however with it also my tendency to question and speak up when others felt it was not appropriate.

There was one particular incident that occurred after another mandatory viewing of one of Hux's loquacious propaganda films, this time reaffirming how the New Republic must be quickly eradicated. Ever since my first meeting with him, I was somewhat perplexed by the frightening demeanor in his speeches, very contradictory towards my firsthand experience. While he had a severity about him, he hadn't seemed terrifying.

"I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand. Wouldn't it make more sense to collaborate with the Republic and come to a mutually beneficial compromise?" I knew the response based on the color the supervising Major's face was turning, and rather than dignify me with a response, he immediately smacked me in the back of the head with a riding crop and sent me to "Reconditioning".

"Reconditioning" essentially consisted of being made to watch holovid after holovid of Hux's speeches whilst a superior officer prevented you from sleeping for at least two days. After each holovid was finished, he or she would ask you questions about the First Order's M.O. and if you waited too long to respond or had the incorrect answer, you were rewarded with a beating. I didn't find it too terrible; because once I got bored with it I would simply give them the rehearsed answers until I was released. It seemed to be a small price to pay to offer up the voice of reason on occasion. Nevertheless, I contained myself better over time, and never presented anything in a way that hindered my ability to succeed.

That wasn't the only thing my classmates had started talking about either. One benefit to being in the officer program was that we were not forced to share a bunk with a roommate. While the rooms were still modestly sized, they afforded some privacy and solitude imperative to studying. I was working on an assignment where a case study was provided and we had to outline proper disciplinary measures as a result. Page after page was typed out, but each time I read through my sentences I was less and less pleased with them, second guessing every conclusion I had previous written with conviction.

"Not good enough, not nearly good enough." I spouted as I slammed my fist against the table and threw my datapad towards the bed. My mind and my heart were racing, if I couldn't ace this assignment I would be further down the class ranking list and less likely to get a superior bid at graduation. What would they say about me if I failed, just a pretty face who hadn't gotten through with merit? Surely she doesn't have what it takes, just here to find a husband. They already whispered it; I couldn't just give them more of a reason to believe it was true. I buried my head in my hands and rocked myself back and forth but I still felt as though I might explode, until suddenly with a yell I felt the anxiety leave me and heard shattering in the corridor. Voices gathered outside and I slowly exited my room to find the overhead lighting had all shattered and left darkness in its path.

"Are you okay?" The brown haired man across the hall whispered. His name was Drax, he had showed me some friendliness from time to time while still maintaining appropriate distance, except for a few nights after hours when we had a little too much Corellian whiskey and I ended up in his bed.

"Yeah, I'm fine…just frustrated about this assignment."

"Well, for your sake, you might want to…contain yourself…a little more, if you know what I mean. I heard if they find out you have force abilities they run tests on you and then hand you over to Snoke for him to break." There had been rumors about the faceless entity that was Snoke, a being of great power who was ruthless and held the reigns to The First Order but was never seen or heard. The stories people had didn't make me want to meet him anytime soon.

"Right, thanks." At that point I had a clear enough head to finish the assignment, after several additional hours of writing and re-writing until I could no longer find any faults with it.

As far as friends were concerned, I did not have many, aside from those like Drax who I would sit with during meals and engage in light conversation, but none that really forged any kind of close relationship. A good half of my school mates loathed me for being competition or for what they felt were my "completely inappropriate" comments, and it certainly didn't help that the training program essentially pitted us against one another as we were forced into combat leaving the best man standing.

Nevertheless, graduation quickly approached, and I eagerly anticipated what my assigned station would be. While there were bases and ships all over the galaxy, my heart was on the Finalizer which would be commissioned very shortly as construction had just recently been completed. Out of everything, the Finalizer was the crème de la crème, and my ambition led me to seek out what would put me closest to the highest of ranks. There was even talk that Hux himself would be stationed on the Finalizer.

On graduation day I had my nicest dress uniform on, my boots shined until I could see my reflection in them, and even saved up some credits to have my hair done in a more formal updo that there was no way I could have managed of my own doing. Family wasn't allowed to attend unless they were also in the Order, but my parents still sent along their words of congratulations. When I received the certificate, I delicately ran my hands over the coarse shiny paper, having never worked so hard for anything in my life.

After the commendation, there was a small celebration following, and I shared some green champagne with a few of my more friendly colleagues, Drax and Kira. I felt someone approach and saw my colleagues turn white in the face as they saluted, and I turned to find Hux with a slew of troopers at his heels. With only a moment's hesitation to process, I followed suit and gave a salute of my own.

"Officer Viggers…at ease... I have been following your career closely, it seems you have earned quite the reputation for being one of the up and comers of the New Order. Congratulations on your graduation."

"You honor me a great deal General." My voice was a bit more subservient than our first meeting, now that I had a much better understanding of who he was and what he was capable of, however I tried to assert myself by maintaining eye contact with him rather than darting my eyes towards the floor where they so desperately wanted to go.

"It also appears that you'll be stationed on my ship The Finalizer, what a…coincidence." I could not hide my excitement and happiness at this news, and I'm sure it beamed off of me. The Finalizer had been my dream since the day I first laid eyes on it, and to know that my hard work had paid off was validating in every sense of the word.

"I do not believe in coincidence sir, and if any of it was your doing than I owe you a great debt of gratitude." He nodded and curled up his lip slightly.

"No debt of gratitude, just as any General, I wish to have the best of the best working directly with me." He nodded and turned on his heels to leave, the flank of storm troopers scurrying behind him, but he hesitated a moment and turned back.

"And Officer, I sincerely hope that your Reconditioning sessions will become much less frequent now…For your sake," I gulped and nodded. If that wasn't a threat then I didn't know what was. From across the room I heard one of my biggest critics comment about how I must be sleeping my way to the top, but the words no sooner left his lips that he began coughing and gasping as I smiled slightly and brought the bubbly green liquid up to my lips.


	2. Bite Your Tongue

The Finalizer was everything I imagined it to be, sleek, state of the art, a marvel of modern machinery. I was assigned to Vessel Design and Repair, not as prestigious as some of the tactical groups, but it allowed me to hone in on my strengths in math and science and it was a good starting point to get my bearings.

I took great joy and pride in my work each day, and the progress I was able to make within the department. We made things faster, use less energy, reduce more time and manpower, and with each new development The First Order grew a little more efficient. Surprisingly I hadn't seen much of Hux, but after his warning to me I kind of hoped to keep it that way, at least for a little while.

About a month in, I had my first encounter on the Finalizer with Hux. My team and I had been working on a remarkable new system for thrusters, deriving power from a chemical reaction of inexpensive and readily available substances that could be stored safely onboard without potential for explosion in the event of an attack. It came time for our periodic presentation of findings, and I proudly flipped through the holograms to show what we had been spending so much time on.

It was a small room with a large holoprojector in the center, and tiered seating around and above it so everyone had a fine view of things. The lights were dimmed down to give everyone an adequate view, but I could see the skeptical glares of my male superior officers looking down upon me.

"The result is really quite brilliant, we reduce costs on board, increase the safety in storage, and as an added bonus generate faster and more effective propulsion."

"Proposterous." The voice was unmistakably that of Major Thradean. Major Thradean was in his sixties, his face weathered with age and his hair nearly all shades of grey. He hardly ever entered a room without reminding those around him how he had served for the Empire and that he had seen and done it all. He was also always the first to shoot down any new ideas, and never hesitated to vocalize.

"Excuse me?"

"Proposterous. Where do you suppose we are to acquire Baletium?" He crossed his hands in his lap and had a small smirk on his lips, looking as if he was very aware of his mental superiority and was simply trying to prove in an example to everyone there that was the case. I hated him.

"That is the beauty of it sir, Rapora Mining in the Outer Rim, Little Capella, started a venture roughly 15 years ago." His smirk sunk a little bit, seeing that I wasn't going to be as easy of a target as he expected. Still, he clenched his fist and continued to patronize me.

"And how do you suppose we are to acquire this Baletium to a company with such close ties to the New Order?" The condescension was practically oozing from each word now, and I felt the muscles in my jaw clench at his attempt to make me look foolish, and especially on something my team and I had worked so hard on.

"Sir, that is not my area of expertise, my duty is to find the best technology to use and to present it, and my team and I have." I stated the words plainly, and with as much respect as possible to maintain airs. Really, it was taking every fiber of my being to prevent myself from choking him out.

"So, you've basically just wasted our time then." He grunted and rolled his eyes, and I felt the anger begin to boil under my skin.

"You're being ridiculously obtuse, I'm sure if you sat down with any of our diplomatic strategists they would easily be able to come up with either an agreement or a hidden trust to gather what we would need from Repora without anyone batting an eye." A collective gasp seemed to take place around the room, and at that moment I knew that I should have thought a bit more before opening my mouth. At that point I had already dug my grave, so there was no point trying to climb my way out like a coward. I kept my chin held up and my eyes locked on him defiantly, almost challenging him to respond. In retrospect, that moment was my second grand mistake.

" Leutenant Viggers." The voice wasn't Thradean, it was the voice that sent chills down everyone's spine, and in that moment I knew that I was royally screwed. It was Hux, of all people and all days, who had apparently decided to step in to the meeting unannounced to grace us with his presence. All paused to salute and bow their heads in reverence. Hux had his cloak on, which made him appear all the more striking and terrifying. With a calm calculation, he descended the tiered steps and tugged at the black leather glove on his right hand firmly while his cheek bones flexed as he clenched his jaw in agitation.

"Major Thradean is your superior officer, is he not?" His piercing blue eyes looked up towards me, his lips pinched into a straight line. I stood tall to face him.

"Yes, sir he is, but,"

"BUT NOTHING!" His words hung thick in the air as the sound waves still reverberated from the walls and lingered in the air while the room remained silent.

"How can we wish to restore order in the galaxy if we cannot maintain it within our own ranks?" I paused and said nothing, believing the question to be rhetorical.

"I asked you a question, LEIUTENANT." I nearly jumped back to attention and found myself trembling, ever so slightly, inadvertently.

"We cannot sir." My team sat in the corner of the room, the looks on their faces said it all, that they were all quite happy to not be in my shoes.

"Precisely." By this point Hux was nearly in front of my face and he sneered as he clasped his wrist behind his back.

"General, she will be sent to Reconditioning immediately for her insolence." It was Major Pressen, my direct superior officer. While he was soft spoken, kind, and easy to work with, it also prevented him from ever speaking up on anyone's behalf, or helping to defend them. He was a leader with no backbone, always willing to show support to what was readily accepted, but never willing to stand up for what wasn't.

"No need, I'll handle her Reconditioning personally, it seems this one has somewhat of a history with it. You are all dismissed." All those in the room scurried out as quickly as possible, as though the room had flooded and it was every man for himself. I began to collect my bag and my holodisk when he grabbed my wrist with a black gloved hand.

"You are _not_ dismissed Miss Viggers." I paused in my tracks and set my things back down on the ground.

"Yes sir." I responded meekly, as the last of the audience clamored through the door and left the room in total silence.

"Miss Viggers, what did I say to you on your graduation?"

"You said that you sincerely hoped, for my sake, that my Reconditioning sessions would become less frequent, sir."

"And have they?"

"Today would be the first one sir."

"That is one too many."

"Yes, sir."

"Get down on your knees." I was confused, but at this point, refusing wasn't an option, so I did as I was told and got down to my knees on the floor.

"Take off your hat Lieutenant." Again, I obliged, keeping my eyes to the ground and removing my cap, setting it gently off to the side.

"And take down your hair." With some hesitation I reached up and removed the pins which held my hair up into a sleek bun, letting the long blonde strands cascade down around my face.

"I figured it was only a matter of time. You're quite brilliant, but that quick mouth, that tongue, just can't be controlled can they."

"Sir, I…"

"It seems you need to learn to control them more, don't you agree?" Before I had a chance to respond, I heard the sound of his trousers unzipping, removing his already erect member swiftly from them and setting it before me.

"Now Lieutenant. I want you to show me how you can control that tongue, and prove to me that I shouldn't dismiss you immediately." A gloved hand reached behind my head and inched it slowly towards him, and with some trepidation I opened myself to him in response. While aghast by the situation, I was somewhat disgusted with myself that I felt a bit aroused by it. Hux was handsome and powerful, no doubt, and it felt somewhat gratifying and almost relaxing to focus only on following his every order. Well, if this is what he wanted, then I would make sure he wasn't unsatisfied.

"Uhhh," he let out a guttural moan as my tongue wrapped around him, flicking along the tip, while one hand stroked along his shaft and the other tugged gently at his balls, my knuckles gently kneading the sensitive spot behind them. I felt his gloved hand grasp at my hair gently moving with my head as it leaned towards and away from him. I continued my ministrations until his breathing increased, and his hand frantically grasped against my head. In that moment, I paused and looked up at him, cocking an eyebrow in his direction.

"You feisty little slut, if you don't finish me now I'll put you in solitary confinement until you're begging me to let you out." I chuckled at his response, which seemed to me was half said jokingly, and increased the rate of my hands and mouth, leaving him grunting incoherently at each movement until he finally let out a loud cry and emptied himself down my throat. I swallowed what he provided me, knowing full well he would consider anything else impertinence.

He smirked and let out a small laugh while he looked down on me, zipping himself back into his pants and tightening his gloves.

"Well Viggers, it seems there may be hope for you yet." I remained kneeling in the same position, waiting for him to give me the next instruction.

"On your feet Lieutenant," he said briskly, and I stood up, and went to replace my hat. Before I could, he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me towards him, reached a gloved hand up through my hair and tugged back on it. His other hand ran its gloved thumb across my bottom lip.

"You're Reconditioning isn't over yet, we'll continue at 1800, see to it you arrive promptly at my office then."

"Yes, sir." He let go and went for the door, cloak billowing behind him. My back rested against the holoprojector and I shook my head at the events that had just transpired.


	3. A Lesson in Futility

As soon as I returned to our work quarters, my team members fluttered around me in curiosity.

"What happened Sonia, are you okay?"

"Did you see Hux's face? He was bright red." Yes, bright red alright but maybe not from what they thought. I smiled and reassured them.

"Oh yes, I'm fine, just a round of thorough Reconditioning, but nothing I can't handle."

"I couldn't believe Thradean had the nerve, clearly what we've proposed is a no brainer!"

"Thanks for standing up for us."

"No thanks necessary, it's the right thing to do, we worked hard for this, we work hard for the Order. I won't let some old bitter brute ruin that. You all keep concentrating on pursuing your great ideas, I'm sure I'll be through Reconditioning and back in no time." I tried to reassure them while hurriedly gathering my things to prepare as best I could for whatever it was Hux had in store next.

I deposited my presentation materials at my workspace and prepared to stop by my room before heading for Round 2, whatever that entailed. In my quarters, I decided to disrobe and take a quick sonic shower, the vibrations calming in their predictability and clearing my head, at least a little. During my presentation, nerves and fear had led me to sweat nearly clear through my uniform, so I went ahead and changed into a fresh one, and made sure everything down to the last button was perfect, not wanting to give Hux any reason for further reprimand.

It was 1755 hours when I arrived at Hux's office door, and I pressed the call button without much hesitation, ready to get over with whatever was next, and maybe dare I say a little excited by what it might be based on our last encounter. The door immediately hissed open, and then closed behind me. Hux sat behind a grand shiny black desk, holoscreens blinking all around him providing a pulse check of everything going on in the Finalizer, in addition to status reports from the other Order ships and bases. His hands were steepled in front of him as he sat and stared at me.

"Lieutenant, you're on time, very good." His hands moved to strum along the top of his desk.

"Sonia, you demonstrate a great deal of intelligence, tenacity, and dedication, but it seems time and time again you struggle with adhering to code."

"Permission to speak freely sir?" He seemed slightly amused by my request and paused before giving his trademark half smile/half sneer.

"Granted."

"What I struggle with is what is unreasonable. I respect the code, but I do not follow it blindly. My people and I have worked hard for what is best for the Order, our proposition was flawless and is obviously an improvement. I deplore those who care more about their own pride than what is best for the Order, regardless of their rank."

"So you tell me General, what is more in favor of the Order? Following it blindly even if it means being inefficient in the process, or doing what is best?"

"Oh Ms. Viggers, how I do enjoy you. Your point is well made and well taken, but at the end of the day we do have very strict policies we are all responsible for following, because if we don't where does that lead us but anarchy? We are trying to restore Order to the galaxy, and how can we have Order when we don't even have it amongst our own ranks?"

"I don't know sir."

"What do you suppose I should do with you?"

"Promote me." He let out an uproarious laugh, but it slowly faded and died down to something terrifying, the light in his face was gone and there was just cold and darkness.

"No, I have something different in mind. It seems traditional Reconditioning hasn't had much of an effect on you, but perhaps we should take an alternate approach. Remove your uniform."

"Sir?"

"You heard me Leutenient, don't make me give you an order a second time." I started with my hat and gloves and set them on a nearby side table, and followed it by removing the belt of my tunic. All the while he sat, leaning back in his chair, manspreading like there was no tomorrow, and watching with a disconcerting intensity. I then reached for my lapel and undid the snaps, unhooking the closure and shrugging it off to the floor. Next were my boots and socks, followed by my pants, until I was left standing in nothing more than undergarment wraps.

"Now. I want you to come here to my desk." Taking a deep breath I walked over to him as he stood up and walked to the front, casually leaning back on the dark shiny surface as I made my way over. Against any control of my own, I was becoming so aroused by the situation, I was drenched between my legs, the musky aroma beginning to make its way to my own nose and surely to his.

"Place your hands on top of the desk and lean over it."

"Sir?" I barely hesitated and he grabbed me by the back of my neck and forced me down over it. His long rough fingers traced over my backside as he undid the wrappings and exposed the skin to the cold recycled air in the room. He palmed one of my cheeks as I heard a satisfied sigh escape his lips, followed by clinking as he removed his belt, and I prepared myself for what was inevitably to come. I joined the order and got myself into this mess, there was no surviving it on Hux's, Mr. First Order himself's, bad side.

"Now, I want you to count each time." Each time? At that point it became clearer what he had in mind, and it finally clicked as he delivered the first blow.

"One," I choked out. The initial pleasure inducing snap beginning to sting and burn before the next blow was struck.

"Two." This time I had a bit more confidence as I adjusted myself to the situation. This continued until I reached fifteen, and by that point my ass was half numb and my arousal was beginning to run down the inside of my legs. There was a wonderful sort of relief in being punished, like all of the things that I felt were inherently wrong and bad about me were absolved and off of my shoulders.

"Please sir, I can't take it anymore." I said through ragged breaths, sweat beading up and running slowly from my hairline past my cheeks.

"You can't? Well, Viggers, it seems that your pussy is telling a different story." With that he ran one finger slowly along the inside of my leg, through the signs of my arousal, until he hit the apex and dipped one long finger torturously in, eliciting a deep relieving moan from within my chest.

"Yes, a different story indeed. In fact Lieutenant, it seems like you are _enjoying_ your punishment quite thoroughly?" Now a second finger joined the first, and began to stroke in the most tantalizing of movements.

"Yes sir."

"I suppose you would love to cum, wouldn't you?" He began to increase the frequency of his strokes and his thumb slowly moved to rub my nub.

"Oh Gods yes sir, please."

"Now now Lieutenant, you have to earn that privilege through obedience. And you my dear, have been anything but obedient." He withdrew his fingers abruptly and I felt like an animal in heat, panting and thoroughly aroused with no release in sight. I would have been angry if I wasn't so dumbfounded by what had just transpired.

"In fact, given your little soliloquy earlier, you still don't seem to respect or appreciate the beauty in the rewards provided for adhering to order." My legs were nearly shaking underneath me, and it took all of my willpower to prevent myself from collapsing then and there.

"That will be all Lieutenant, dress yourself and return to your quarters." As quickly as able I replaced each component of my uniform and straightened myself up before exiting. Meanwhile, cool as can be, Hux had returned to his desk and resumed peeling through holovids, as if nothing had even occurred. The trip back to my quarters was a quick one, as I nearly ran back. I needed some kind of release, any kind of release, or I was surely going to explode. After stopping by my chambers to quickly straighten myself up, I sauntered across the hall and gave a quick knock.

"Hey Sonia, something I can help you with?"

"As a matter of fact, there is…"I grew a wicked smile and closed the door behind me.


	4. Phantoms and Frivolity

_A/N: Hope you are enjoying reading as much as I am writing, I feel a little more connected to this story then the other Reylo I have going, and am pulling a lot of factors and frustrations I've been going through myself the past year (you know minus the scandalous sexual aspects). To any of you at Celebration this week, I am extremely jealous and loving all of the happy photos people are posting on instagram. Much Star Wars love to all of you…enjoy!_

Lucky for me, after our two encounters I didn't see or hear a peep from Hux for several weeks. While it left me angry, beguiled, and completely ashamed of myself, I tried to put it behind me and focus on work with my team, continuing full steam ahead and trying to break down any opposition in my path. As the weeks passed, chatter of my "incident" during the presentation began to quiet down and was quickly replaced with growing excitement for the upcoming New Order Military Ball. It seemed that despite all of the ruthless tenacity for galactic domination, the highest echelons of the New Order were still suckers for formality and the "old ways", which included biennial alcohol induced frivolity.

The upcoming event would be my first of the kind, and I had been consulting just about every holovid I could get my hands on to prepare me, not being cut from regal cloth, in order to prevent myself from embarrassment. The event was to take place in the Finalizer, with similar gatherings on other vessels of its kind separately, with a few non crew members arriving specifically for the occurrence. It seemed that this was a rare occasion indeed, in which officers were not only encouraged but required to deviate from wearing the traditional military uniform.

The most helpful holovid was of the last occasion, but on a separate vessel as the Finalizer had not yet been commissioned. Female officers wore different colored flowing gowns and elaborate updos, while the men wore well tailored tunics, hair slicked back or tousled down in the latest fashions. Fascinated I watched each of the supreme officers enter with their escorts, who looked like hypnotized dolls, gowns flowing behind them, until I saw the familiar red headed form of Hux descend with a dark eyed brunette. Her breasts were nearly exploding from the top of the gown, noticeably heaving with each breath she took. Absent mindedly I stared down at my own small chest, a fraction of what this woman had on display, and pondered whether or not there would be snickers and smirks around the room when my small chest was forced to stand next to someone's busty escort. Without flinching, my handheld viewer shuttled across the room and hit the wall hard enough to leave a small dent.

Hux didn't seem to be the only concern though, there were also rumblings of one of Supreme Leader Snoke's minions, someone by the name of Kylo Ren who, based on secondhand descriptions, wore all black and wasn't someone you cared to be caught around. One day I was taking my lunch in the Officer's Lounge when a fellow Lieutenant looked around cautiously before leaning over the table to me. He looked meek with mousy brown hair and slight features, and so nervous his shaking hands might knock over his glass and send it shattering to the ground at any moment.

"One of Snoke's apprentices is supposed to be paying us a visit soon. A word of warning, avoid him if possible, and if not, clear your head of _any_ thought you have." He was deathly serious and seemed paranoid he was being overheard by others.

"That's ridiculous." I said with a sort of snicker, picking up my glass to take a drink, I certainly wasn't going to be afraid of some man in a silly mask.

"He trains in the ways of the Force." He whispered even softer now, as if he were speaking of a ghost in the night, and the smirk from my lips slowly faded down into a frown.

"The Force? " I gulped, and tried to seem oblivious, still keeping my skills as hidden and under control as I possibly could.

"Yeah, I used to think it was just fairy stories my grandmother told, until the last time Kylo Ren visited and I saw him choke someone across the room nearly to death for just _thinking_ something derrogatory." A bit more nervous now, I nodded in a bit of a thank you and pushed my lunch away from me, my appetite suddenly leaving. There were rumors he could read thoughts? What if he was able to see inside of my head and learn what I was hiding? Surely I would be sent to this Snoke where he would probably kill me like the other "Jedi" they had come across.

I tried not to think much of it and pushed it to the back of my mind as I utilized my personal time to visit the ship's tailor. I had saved up most of my credits in order to purchase an acceptable gown for the occasion, and wanted to make sure to get measured with plenty of time afforded to make further alterations if they were needed. The brightly colored materials were in high demand, and both wanting to save some credits and also avoid drawing any unnecessary attention, I opted for a dark blue.

"What style would you like to go for?" the small elderly tailor responded, her spectacled eyes staying focused on measuring my waist.

"To be perfectly honest with you, I haven't the slightest idea. I've been a bit separated from society." She let out a good hearted laugh. She continued her ministrations, measuring and rapidly typing into her datapad.

"No shame in honesty, it seems the ladies in Coruscant often set the tone for most of the galaxy. Close fitted or loose and flowing, with your waist and hips I would recommend you go more fitted, show off the figure."

"Fitted it is." I nervously smoothed my hands over the sides of my uniform and looked into the mirror, trying to imagine what this creation might look like.

"A high neckline too, your bosom is…smaller, this will conceal it more." I looked downwards and felt my cheeks flush a bit, to have it put so bluntly by someone else stung. _Hux didn't seem to have any issues with it_. I silently willed my brain to shut up and let her finish before I doled out my hard earned credits and ventured back to the sanctuary of my personal quarters.

A few weeks later I was informed my gown was complete and I needed to return for a fitting. I stepped into the pooled fabric and slid my arms through, while the tailor fastened the back. I looked at my reflection and was quite blown away: the neckline was high and tied in the back, the dark blue fabric cascaded down to the floor, the waist was fitted and tucked closely but then loosened a bit to skim slightly over the hips before flaring out slightly leaving the bottom trailing behind. The back was open, but adorned with a design of cris-crossing straps, gold ribbon embellishing the waist, and interwoven throughout.

"Hm, a little long, but other than that seems just right." She murmured, making some markings around my feet. I shuffled awkwardly as she tugged and marked.

"Off you go, I should have it finished up here next week."

The weeks seemed to fly by, and before I knew it, the big event was just in sight. My gown was hung up carefully in the small closet my room afforded, in addition to some matching healed slippers. While my comrades seemed to be filled with only excitement, I found myself with a mixture of both excitement and dread, fearing the unknown and what potential faux pas I might commit. Nevertheless, the day crept nearer and nearer.

On the fateful day I tried to distract myself by focusing on work, but neither myself nor my team seemed to be able to focus fully as time passed by. I had happily allowed them to leave a little early for the day to begin getting ready, but lingered to finish up a few minor items before I myself began to pack my things and head to my quarters. I had just swiped out of the project room and began to head down the corridor when I stopped dead in my tracks. I felt something I hadn't felt before, it was prominent.

It was like my limbs had been asleep and were starting to regain feeling again. It was like a million flies were buzzing through every inch of me and with each step towards my bunk the buzzing increased. It felt somehow familiar and comforting, almost like being home again yet at the same time unsettling and troubling. I shook my head in confusion but then looked up from my black boots to see a dark mask down the corridor in the distance staring right at me. Frozen mid step, I abruptly turned and went the other direction, hearing the distinct click of a heavy set of determined boots behind me. I had nearly made it back to the office and had my hand up for the lock when there was a voice not too far behind.

"You. Stop." I froze where I was, closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and turned to face him.

"Yes, Apprentice Ren, how may I be of service?" I put on the best airs I could muster in the given situation, trying to appear as calm and collected as I possibly could.

"What is your name."

"Lieutenant Viggers sir, Vessel Repair and Design." I stood in typical New Order military stance, legs in a wide stance and hands clasped behind my back.

"Hmm. The Academy?" Not one for small talk was he.

"Yes sir." I felt a sharp pain in my head, like an insect was attempting to burrow in.

"So, you seem to be _familiar_ with Hux." I forced out the burrowing insert with my might and heard what sounded like some electrical feedback from the vocal enhancer of the dark man in front of me.

"I'm not sure what you mean sir, General Hux is my superior officer. Although he knows my name and position he doesn't typically waste his time in dealing with those in my ranks as he has much more important matters to focus on." He began to chuckle at me and my face started to feel hot with the anger coursing through my blood.

"Whatever you say, Lieutenant. It seems I was wrong, however, General Hux is _much_ stupider than he looks. Cleary he does not realize what he has his own hands on." Even through the mask I could tell he was taking me in, studying me and every nuance of my body language, whether subconscious or not.

"Typical though, assuming he is worthy of what is above him when he's no more than a sniveling brat who just so happened to be born from a man of greatness." Clearly he had a distaste for Hux, but he was speaking in riddles that made no sense to me, like there was some hidden joke I was missing out on.

"I'm sorry sir?"

"Now is not the time, our paths will cross again." With that he turned and left in a flurry, while I was left mouth agape to try to interpret the nonsense he had spouted.

There wasn't much time to assess, as I had to begin the ritual of preparation for the festivities at hand. I had reserved an appointment with ample time to have one of the younger officers, Dalia, skilled in the art of beauty, prepare my hair and makeup for the evening. She came highly recommended, and was willing to forego credits for some of the higher end commissary items mid range superiors such as myself had access to.

"Sonia, right on time. What do you have in mind?" I pulled out my datapad and began to scroll through several images of models from the capital, the hair styling I had chose consisted of large loose curls, cascading to the side like a waterfall. I gave her a bit more freedom when it came to my face, asking only for a bit more dramatic of an eye and nothing too bright on the lips. After nearly two hours of tugging, hot devices, and clamping, she was finished.

"Come look, you are beautiful, m'am." I turned to face the mirror and nearly didn't recognize myself, she had done an excellent job.

"Thank you Dalia." I scurried back to my room, hoping to avoid any unnecessary entanglements with fellow shipmates. Once the dress and shoes were on my full transformation was complete, and I only hoped that the evening itself would go relatively quietly.

The events were held in one of the hanger bays, which had been completely transformed into a formal setting, with ornate tables and centerpieces spread throughout and spectacular hovering chandeliers. As I cautiously entered, I marveled at the finery of it, unlike anything I had ever seen before. With each step I took through the crowd, I felt eyes roam over me as I typically did not in uniform, and found myself desperately searching for a familiar face in the crowd to cling to. I got my wish when I spotted Drax off to the side with a few fellow members of his unit.

"Sonia, wow." He was rendered speechless, but I could read the extreme compliment off of his face without any words. A grin crept up my face without much effort, it was hard not to.

"Thanks, you too." He had cleaned up nicely himself, clean pressed black tunic, satin sash, and hair freshly cut and slicked back.

"Leuitenant Viggers? Is that you?" A few of Drax's buddies peaked out around him, and brought a big smile to my face with their boisterous stories, clearly fueled by drink. Although food was spread out on various tables, it was not yet time to eat, so droids carrying trays of small finger foods and alcoholic beverages were weaving through the crowd to tide everyone over and lubricate the social aspect of the event. I grabbed a blood red beverage from a protocol droid that skirted past me and resumed listening to a tie-fighter pilot named Kam tell a tall tale when I felt the feeling yet again. This time it crept alongside my back up to my neck, and I absentmindedly rubbed it while looking to the corner of the upper deck to see the dark shadowy figure lingering back and pointed in my general direction. I looked away and scrubbed my mind of any thought before making every attempt to focus fully on the pilot's story.

There was suddenly a shuffle of guardsmen, and at the top of the stairs to the room a large door whooshed open. A senior official adorned with all kinds of metals of pomp and circumstance began to clear his throat to silence the crowd.

"Ladies and gentleman, welcome to the 5th First Order Regalia, first on the glorious Finalizer!" Thunderous applause echoed throughout the hanger and the senior official beamed and motioned for the crowd to quiet.

"It is with great pleasure that I introduce our esteemed members and distinguished guests for the evening."

"General Armitage Hux and escort Caroleena DeVeers," I looked up too quickly to conceal, looking upon Hux for the first time since our series of exchanges, fire red hair slicked back so it sat just perfectly, tunic tailored to perfection, head held up high in regality and trademark sneer perfectly in place. His escort, while different than the holovid, had the same vacant expression but stood tall like a statue and had a body that only the best doctors in Coruscant could have sculpted. Her hair was piled high in intricate raven colored knots, and her dress sparkled with thousands of light reflecting gems that caught the eye with each subtle movement. My cheeks turned to red when I saw his hand move from holding her own to rest at the small of her lower back. All of us mere mortals saluted in reverence as he maintained his shit eating grin and descended.

"Might as well be a droid with all the substituted parts." Drax stooped down and whispered to me, as if reading my mind.

"Exactly," I smirked but it fell to a frown and with that I decidedly downed the remaining contents of my glass, before reaching to grab another quickly passing by on the tray of a droid. I could swear I heard laughing in my head but I pushed it aside. Several more high ranking officials and guests were announced, but the dark ominous apprentice was not, probably not his style.

It wasn't long before dinner was served, the most delicious food I think I had ever tasted. Rich whipped starchy vegetables started off the meal, followed by savory, tender, and juicy spiced meats, all topped off with a sweet fluffy tart filled with brightly colored fruits I had never known existed. Suddenly, I began to understand what all the fuss had been about, and why the more seasoned officers had been anxiously awaiting its arrival.

When due time had been allowed for digesting and additional beverages, music started echoing through the bay and one by one the crowd got to its feet and paired off to dance. Up until that point I had been able to successfully ignore Hux's presence, but at that moment I caught a glimpse of the dear General spinning about his prized showpiece, throwing his head back in laughter and whispering things into her ear. The thought came crushing into my head, I was nothing but the General's whore to play with, a lowly farm girl beneath him, not fine enough to dance with in public. To him I was just a game, a subordinate to do with as he wished behind closed doors and toss away when he was finished. I didn't know why I was so bothered by it but I was, it made me feel like dirt, the lowest of the low, like I was nothing, and I abhor feeling like nothing. The thought left a pit in my stomach.

I edged my way out of the crowds to the viewing deck and took in the vast expanse of the universe around me, in one hand a glass of green champagne sitting idly on my lips while the other hand rested in the crook of my elbow. I took another sip and decided I had had enough for the evening, and it was likely time to retire back to my quarters. But before I could make my next move, I heard soft footsteps behind me.

"Ah Lieutenant, I must say, you look lovely this evening." I heard the voice behind me as I took another sip of my beverage. The unmistakable voice I had been forced to endure through each reconditioning session, in one form or another.

"Thank you sir." I didn't bother turning around to face him, I was too ashamed of myself and whatever this stupid womanly jealousy was, so I continued to stare out into the vastness of space.

"I've been following your continued progress. Your dedication to the Order is so inspiring for all to see." His finger began to trail up and down my exposed back, as if he were stroking a beloved pet, and I found myself tensed at the coldness of his touch.

"How far does your dedication go, Lieutenant?" His lips began to trail along my neck and my eyes closed of their own volition.

"What kind of a question is that?" I said softly, with an uncontrollable tone of forlornness. He was so close against my back now, I could smell the hint of Corellian whiskey on his breath, the spicy hint of fine cologne on his hot skin, feel him getting hard against my backside.

"I'm sure you recall our last conversation, there is so much value in store for you the more you seek to dedicate yourself to the true meaning of the Order…"His hands began to trail down over my hips but I shook him off of me as if he were a pesky insect and took a few steps before crossing my arms and turning back to face him, the spell was broken and I pulled myself out of the pit and gathered my wits about me.

"My 'dedication'? I work tirelessly each day for this operation and its success, for those who work for me, and trust in me. I don't care to play whatever game this is with you tonight so you can leave me unfulfilled as I'm sure you leave many of your suitors. Speaking of which, where is your escort sir? Surely the price you paid for her merits the addition of her ensuring your bodily needs are addressed as well."

My confidence was a mask, always a mask which my own spiteful mind continually cracked and chiseled away so I could work to put it all back together again. The self consciousness I desperately tried to hide into nonexistence insisted on rearing its ugly head every once in awhile, just to remind me that no matter how hard I tried I would never be fully rid of it. At this moment, I began to feel the cracks, the part of me which subconsciously yearned for his approval and attentions, attentions that had been given but then denied. I had to get away or I was bound to give in.

"That insipid thing? Merely fodder for the sake of the show and the media. No passion, no vigor for life, no shared meaning. Think of her as an adornment to please the masses, no different than the jewels you wear on your neck."As he inched closer and curled a finger around the jewel at the hollow of my neck, I wanted to kiss him so badly I had to bite my lip to the point of bleeding to prevent myself from doing so.

"Still though, what does it matter, if it's merely something warm for you to stick your dick into." I took a step back and turned to return to a more public area when his hand tugged forcefully on my arm.

"My my Lieutenant is that a hint of jealousy I detect? You do know how deplorable I find it when you say such foul and insubordinate things. Perhaps another reconditioning session is in order." His hand brushed through the hair hanging to the side of my face, thumb rubbing over my bottom lip, and I could bear it no longer, my hand grabbing his lapels and pulling him close enough to land a crushing kiss, tongues wriggling synchronously to carry it further, careening headfirst into the darkness and then I pushed back and broke the spell a second time.

"You should be so lucky General. But you forget. This is a rare night where we are off duty, off duty meaning that I have no obligation to follow orders from you. And, as you put it so often, what are we but fueled by chaos without abiding by the Order?" His face was turning red, angry, and it told me this was likely a mistake and his patience was wearing thin, but it could be no more a mistake then following him to bed would have been, and at least this way I escaped with some of my dignity intact. I took the opportunity of his confusion to turn and make my way back to the safety of the crowded room, but in doing so I nearly landed square into the chest of the masked menace.

"Hux, harassing another of your subordinates?" He looked down at me with dark hollow and shiny eyes.

"Not you again, what a miserable way to ruin an otherwise perfectly lovely evening…" Hux rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Why did you even bother to come anyway, if you insist on hiding and brooding in corners all night long." He spat out the words with acid on his tongue, not hiding his distaste in the slightest.

"General you'd be surprised how amusing it can be hiding in corners, you have no idea how…comical…it is to watch someone else put you in your place." Hux pressed one hand against the glass of the observation window while his other balled up into a fist, face turning even redder if that was possible. This was not going to end well, I needed to leave, while I still could.

"Oh come now Lieutenant, you wouldn't leave without giving me the pleasure of a dance?" I swallowed, refusal wasn't an option, but at the same time this was only going to make Hux's blood boil all the more, a fact I was sure Kylo Ren was well aware of.

"It would be my honor as a member of the First Order, Apprentice Ren." He offered his hand, which I took, and led me out to the floor with the others, soliciting audible gasps and whispers from those around us.

"I told you he was stupid. I don't understand why my Master insists on keeping him," he said bluntly, expertly gliding with me across the room. Flustered, I tried to change the subject.

"You dance well sir." The leather of his gloves was rough and hard against my hand, but still possessed a kind of warmth.

"I didn't have a choice growing up, I was taught to dance," he spun me around and placed a hand on my lower back, "and also to appreciate a strong, intelligent, and beautiful woman rather than hiding her." My cheeks flushed, was he hitting on me?

"Not many would talk to Hux like you did back there," the mechanical voice stated plainly to me.

"Yes, and I will be paying for it threefold later." I said looking out into the crowd with a frown, and spotting the redhead immediately shooting daggers from his eyes at us.

"Perhaps. Perhaps you have more power than you think." The music stopped and he pulled away.

"We'll meet again. When the Force wills it." His words clung in the air, cold and devoid of emotion. I looked around nervous, and decided this ought to be the best time for an exit, weaving through the crowds to exit the hanger and quickly hurry back to my quarters. I found myself wondering the whole way, how the hell it was that I got myself into this mess, and more importantly how to get myself out of it.


	5. You Owe Me

Arriving back at my chambers I entered the door code and slipped in as it whooshed behind me. What kind of fuckery was this? I just wanted to focus on my work and there I stood, not only fooling around and now royally pissing off the General of the God Damn First Order Himself, but now I was being trailed by Snoke's favorite force wielding apostle?

I sat on my bed, the ankle destroyers I had brandished on my feet cast aside, the expensive dress I had purchased grazing over the floor, and a glass of watered down Corellian whiskey clutched firmly in hand that had been pilfered on my exit. I slowly spun it around and watched the ice slide against the glass, gliding with ease as I had across the floor with the masked menace.

I removed the dress and took a moment to admire it again before hanging it up in the back of the closet, behind the troves of daily uniforms. It was almost humorous how out of place it looked. After removing the night in the fresher I put on a pair of loose sleeping pants and a plain white tunic, and my freshly cleaned hair was pulled in a loose bun out of my face. As I was just about to settle in for the night there was a loud banging on the door.

"You can either let me in or I'll use my override code and come in anyway." None other than the tempestuous ginger himself, Hux.

"General you're drunk. And you are making a fool of yourself, I am not the only one in this hall." I was somewhat flattered he was still in pursuit, the things jealousy will do to a man with an ego. Embarrassed for what gossip would inevitably follow, I opened the door and he firmly put his arms around me and kissed me deeply. It was the first time he had kissed me but it was muddled by his drunkenness, too hurried, too out of control, too thick with the taste of Corellian whiskey. He removed his outer coat and threw it onto the floor, unbuttoning the top of his tunic so it hung open and revealed a pale chest with sprinkles of red curly hair.

"I'll take what's mine." He snaked an arm around my lower back, but in one swift stroke I pushed him off of me and onto the bed, his body in its inebriated state pliable to my inferior strength.

"You'll take a nap." I said, crossing my arms and looking up at the ceiling in annoyance.

"I don't sleep I am the General of the First Order." He cocked his head to the side and scrunched up his face.

"What in the galaxy are you wearing?"

"This is what I look like when I am alone and off duty sir, I'm sorry if the finery isn't enough to suit your lifestyle." He began to nuzzle himself into one of my pillows and his eyelids became droopy with intoxication and fatigue.

"Hmmm, I'd rather you weren't wearing anything." He yawned and his eyes fluttered closed.

I watched him as he lay there, brushing a tendril of red hair from his forehead. Underneath all the fanfare, all the loud shouting, he was just a man like any other man. A lost boy with a sad past, desperate to prove to someone, or anyone for that matter, that he was worth something. So desperate he would work himself to death if he could, push everyone and everything away, and turn his heart cold and murderous for the sake of duty and a cloak of righteousness with it. And yet here he lie in my bed, a man who could snap his fingers and put me through a slow and painful death, sleeping like a child. The irony of it all.

I pulled off his boots and set them on the floor, also picking up his coat and hanging it up by the closet, taking a moment to smooth out any wrinkles with my hands. Climbing in beside him, I pulled the covers up over us and put my nose against his back. I breathed in deeply and his tunic smelled like fresh linens and fine cologne, and somehow for a moment, I forgot who he was and the things he did, and just felt at peace with having the comfort of someone warm to rest against as I fell asleep.

When I woke in the morning he was gone and, other than the hint of his scent on my pillows, no traces of him were left behind. I made every attempt to put the previous evening behind me but I was left haunted by it all day, too many conflicting emotions to sort through and make sense of. Instead, I did what I did best and distracted myself with the next project, however the majority of my team appeared grossly hungover and productivity was not the best.

I took my lunch in the Officer's lounge, spooning through some innocuous looking green vegetables when I heard it from across the room.

"Rumor has it Viggers is banging Hux, he even got drunk and started shouting at her door last night until she let him in." Officer Staggens, one of the bratty high bred Imperial spawn who had given me nothing but grief all through the Academy and now continuing on, jealous I had succeeded him in rank so quickly.

"Would you like to repeat that Officer?" I asked, standing up from the table.

"You heard me, everyone knows that's the only reason why you're a Lieutenant. Been sleeping your way to the top ever since the Academy huh?" I saw red, and before I had time to comprehend I was shouting and he was flying across the room and thudding against the wall. The other Officers in the room quickly got up and walked out, fearful they may be the next target.

"I have gotten here from hard work, don't you ever accuse me of that again do you hear me?" Staggens shook on the ground and shielded himself with his arms in a protective stance. I looked around and finally registered what had happened, feeling a drip down my nose and touching it with my glove to reveal bright red blood. Running down the halls, I went to one of the common freshers and dabbed my face, hiding in a toilet stall.

"Leutenant Viggers, report to the Bridge at once." God damn it. I had really done myself in this time. I tried to straighten myself up and headed back to the bridge, only to be greeted by a set of stormtroopers, who while they didn't cuff me, gave the distinct impression that if I should try to make a run for it, I would be on the floor in a flash. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the flicker of an overcoat.

"General on deck!" The deck leader called out, leaving all, including myself, saluting. As he motioned for us to drop at ease, Hux approached to face me. The contrast was mind boggling, to think that mere hours earlier he had been laying beside me half naked in sleep, and now was fully uniformed and yet again terrifying to set eyes on.

"Lieutenant, follow me."

"Yes, sir." I followed down the corridor until we were at the familiar door to Hux's private office, stormtroopers standing closely behind us the entire time.

"Leave us." He spat as he opened the door and I followed him inside. He walked slowly and purposely to his large desk surrounded by observation screens, and sat down. There was a brief moment of déjà vu when I looked up to see Hux seated at his desk, hands steepled together in front of his face.

"What happened Lieutenant?" Hux said, breaking the silence.

"Officer Staggens made a derogatory comment involving you and myself sir, that we were sleeping together. When I asked him to repeat his statement he said it again, and then announced that the only reason I was in an elevated position was because I slept my way there." I saw Hux clench his fists and his jaw.

"Did he now? He will be dealt with. What happened next?"

"I don't know sir, it looked like maybe he tripped."

"Tripped? Well Ms. Viggers that's not exactly the picture that is being painted by witnesses. They are saying that you used the force to push him."

"The force? You can't possibly think that I could be capable of that do you?"

"You tell me." He spun around one of his observation screens that showed recorded surveillance footage of the lounge so it was facing my direction. He played back for me what sent fear through my spine. Staggens did fly through the air and smash against the wall. Shit.

"What did Ren say to you at the ball?" I could feel sweat dripping down the back of my neck.

"Nothing much sir, just that he had been taught to dance growing up and he seems to have quite a distaste for you." Hux sneered.

"And you're sure he didn't say anything else." I looked at my feet.

"No, sir."

"You're LYING LEUTENANT." He stood up and emphasized his words by banging his fist on the desk. His voice was so loud I shook involuntarily.

"He told me perhaps I had more power than I thought." His face changed, from determination to…concern? He paced around his desk with his arms behind his back.

"You must be brought before Supreme Leader Snoke." My eyes opened wide in terror, the sweat starting to come in waves now.

"No! Please don't do that, everything I've worked for." I pleaded with him the best I could, and while I could see a glint of something in his eyes, for the most part he remained visibly unmoved.

""I'll make a case for keeping you under my watch and allowing you to remain in your duties, but the determination on your fate will be his and his alone. I would hate to lose such a dedicated Officer but I am bound by obligation."

"Obligation? The whole reason I am in this mess is because of your behavior last night! If you hadn't drank yourself into such a stupor, made a scene at my door, and slept in my bed there would be no talk of this occurring! You owe me!" I could feel the fire of anger begin to boil inside of me, turning the misfortune of the situation towards him.

"I owe you _nothing_." He nearly hissed the words out.

"Perhaps I should remind you of your rank, it seems that you have forgotten your place."

"What is this supposed to be punishment for refusing your drunken advances last night? Kylo Ren was right, you are a sniveling brat." His fists began to ball up so hard I could hear the leather in his gloves creak as his took large strides to face me.

"I could kill you for that." He seethed through clenched teeth.

"Do it then!" I challenged him. The air was charged, perhaps it was the force, it felt like the static in the air before a lightning strike but neither of us could move. Until we did. Perhaps it was me first, but it happened so fast I couldn't pinpoint it. Our lips were on one another and this time it felt real, there was no sloppiness or drunkenness, it was hard and direct, with purpose. Hands flurried across uniforms until sashes, lapels, and all signs of decorum were piles of fabric on the floor.

My hands went through his fiery hair, giving tugs of goading, as he hoisted me by the bottom and deposited my naked form onto his sleek black desk. There were no words exchanged, there didn't need to be, just hot skin and intent, passion, anger, and whatever twinge of remorse there was for the situation at hand. He positioned himself at my entrance while he nipped delicately at the skin between my neck and shoulder, eliciting moans from deep within my chest.

And with a swift stroke and gasps of ecstasy from the both of us, he began to move between my legs, at first painfully slow, and then building which each thrust. Our hands and lips explored each other as the rhythm continued building slowly, as he filled every inch of me in the most delightful way. My legs wrapped behind his back and encouraged him closer and closer, his throaty grunting indicating he was as near his end as I was.

I screamed in sheer pleasure as I saw white hot blissful nothingness, calling out his name as he followed closely behind and did the same. We lay together in a heap on the floor, breathing heavily and shining in the sweat of our coupling.

"You'll leave for Ragnacta in two days time to convene with Snoke. Until then I plan to have you as many times as I can."


	6. Buried Alive and the Story of Jiko Ren

Hux opened a drawer and pulled out a cigarette and a lighter, gently puffing until the end began to cinder. He took a long draw on it before pinching the bridge of his nose and scrunching his eyes, hesitating ever so slightly before he spoke.

"Your shuttle leaves tomorrow." I took a deep sigh and reached over to pull the cigarette from his mouth, leaving him slightly befuddled. After taking a few draws of my own I indulged in a deep kiss, his thin and powerful lips driving it deeper, then pulled myself back and returned the cigarette.

"Is that so?"

"I can't stall it any longer, he's beginning to sense something." He motioned with the cigarette as if flinging a magic wand about.

"Any advice?" He stifled a laugh.

"Hard to say, he may respect your directness or abhor it. It depends on which way the wind is blowing that day." A sly smile spread across his face as he blew more smoke into the air around us.

"After seeing what effect it has on you perhaps there is some hope?" The smile vanished and his trademark sneer and squinting eyes took over, the emotion was hard to pinpoint, sadness? Disdain? Regret? Perhaps it was a combination of all of them.

"Don't even think about lying to him. He'll know immediately. He is not forgiving." I draped my legs over the side of the bed, letting the black silk sheets pool to the floor, reaching over for my uniform. Silence weighed down, dissipating between us just like the cloud of smoke.

"I meant it you know. You are a fine officer and I will hate to lose you." Brushing a strand of hair from my face, I turned my head back to him. He was quite stunning as he lay there, even without the stately uniform. Possessing chiseled cheekbones, fire red hair, gleaming pale skin, and eyes so deep green they put the forests of Endor to shame. I needed only to factor in his ambition and I was quite convinced there was no power in the Universe that could stand in his way, certainly not me.

"I've enjoyed my post and I hate to leave." I detected a sense of sadness in my voice as the words escaped, perhaps feelings that were better left unsaid and put aside.

"Take this." He handed me a chain with a small pendent on it, the First Order emblem was on one side, and on the other side was an etching of a shining sun.

"It's for good luck, the sun rarely comes out on Arkanis, it was considered a sign of good fortune."

"Come on Armitage, we don't need to try to make this something it's not."

"Think of it as a sign of mutual respect. You'll need as much good fortune as you can muster, I'd rather you have it."

With my uniform on I straightened myself up before leaving, and even while I felt his eyes on my back, I never looked back.

The shuttle ride was bumpy and the re-circulated air was stagnant and humid. Small beads of perspiration formed on my forehead and rolled down my neck as I filled the time by analyzing every potential scenario I could imagine for what might happen, the mystical figure choosing my demise in particularly gruesome ways. It should have terrified me, but instead, knowing there was no escape, I simply conceded and was eager to get it over and done with.

The window showed us approach the rocky planet, a sprinkling of snow on the surface, while I felt a deep seeded feeling of dread and hopelessness pulling at my insides, beckoning me to run the other direction.

The shuttle entered the landing bay in a large cavern. When the ramp opened, I was surprised to be met by the dark mask of Kylo Ren. I came freely, exchanging no words as he simply turned and I followed behind him, nervously fiddling with the necklace Hux had gifted me, wanting to go back to the Finalizer. His large clunky footsteps echoed against the rock walls, and I waited in silence.

"So you gave in to him? How disappointing." It seemed to be becoming typical, Kylo Ren's comments regarding my personal life. I purposely recalled the imagine of Hux above me in the throes of passion as he brought me pleasure, the stunning sight of him on the black sheets before I'd left, and the feelings of admiration for his tenacity that still lingered. I heard a quiet growl come from behind the mask.

"I did tell you I was going to pay for that night didn't I?" My response was blunt and matter of fact.

"He couldn't even begin to show you what true pleasure is. He's always reaching for what is above him, make no mistake that you are not an exception to that."

"What about what I want? Did you ever think that perhaps I made my own decision about what I wanted?" I shook my head in frustration, it seemed no matter what I did or chose I was going to be destined to be thought of as a simpering damsel who could not be immune to all of Hux's charms.

"You don't know what you want. Supreme Leader Snoke will show you." With the uttering of his simple statements, I felt reduced to a child, by a man or creature who was likely old or deformed and too cowardly to show his face to those around him. I grew tired of his judgment so I simply pushed around my mind to keep him out and avoided any further conversation. We approached a chamber, round on the inside with soft lighting around the perimeters edge.

"Keep your head down and your answers short. And don't shield your mind, he won't take kindly to it." His gloved hand pushed down on my shoulder until I took a kneeling position, and by the sounds of his heavy steps, he then left the chamber. There was a presence approaching, but I did as instructed and kept my eyes to the ground.

"Sonia Vickers." The voice was slow and steady, but broken into almost a cackle.

"Supreme Leader."

"Rise." I stood and came face to face with a towering creature, old, with a face that appeared damaged and contorted from some previous entanglement. Intrigued, he circled around me and stroked what was left of his chin.

"Hmmm." He mused to himself in a low vibratory tone.

"You have accomplished a great deal during your short time with the New Order." He continued to pace and squinted his eyes as if trying to determine something, and then he let out a small laugh.

"I see Hux has been, occupied, with you. I suspected as much." I began to wonder if I was going to have to hear comment on my romping with Hux from everyone I encountered for the next millennia.

"Yes…it appears you've had quite the effect on him, he was quite…disappointed…to have you removed." A long cold finger looped the chain from my neck and grabbed the pendent to inspect it with a smirk.

"Probably for the best, my Hux shows very little weakness, it allows him to lead more effectively. Kylo absolutely abhors him for it." The conversation was starting to make me uncomfortable but fortunately he didn't dwell much longer on the subject.

"You've had outbursts I see, over the years?" My face turned red, I was more embarrassed of them than anything else, and I swallowed.

"I have." I looked to my feet away from his potentially disapproving eyes, shielding myself from the embarrassment.

"You should not be ashamed. Your anger is a source of great power to you, an untapped resource." Snoke made great movements with his hands, trying to emphasize the expanse of this "untapped" resource. Then he stopped dead in his tracks in front of me, using his forefinger to lift my chin to face him. His sinewy fingers were cold and jagged against my skin, like tree branches in the dead of winter, and every second they lingered on me was a second too long.

"I can give you the galaxy, everything you've ever desired, the reason you looked to the New Order, and power beyond your wildest dreams. All I ask for in return is loyalty and subservience, is that something you can do?" There was an image in my head, I had black cloaks and a red sword, and swarms of troopers bowed to me. Ships moved with a simple wave of my hand. A group of other sword wielders stood behind me. I was certain this thought was not of my own, but planted, likely as an attempt to woo me into submission.

"You paint a pretty picture Supreme Leader, but it seems to be a bit unnecessary. Is there really any other choice?"

"Death." He spat out, his tone changing dark in the blink of an eye. So, in short, no.

"Then yes, that is something I can do." A hint of a smile tugged on one side of my mouth, trying to find what little amusement there was in the given situation. Snoke on the other hand did not seem amused, and his eyes narrowed into snakelike slits.

"It appears you have a recurrent habit of challenging authority. I should warn you that deviation will resort in...severe consequences." Severe consequences, it didn't take a genius to interpret what that likely entailed.

"Yes, I understand Supreme Leader." I found decorum again in my response, remaining straight and regimented.

"Kylo Ren will begin your training, and when the time comes, I will finish it." I heard clunky determined steps approach behind me again and the masked figure breathed amplified behind me. Snoke retreated back into the shadows he came from, showing little emotion.

"Take her to her chambers, you can begin tomorrow." I followed Ren again through twists and turns in the caverns, passing by a few blast doors until we stopped in front of the last in the row. He entered a code and the door rose to reveal a chamber carved from the rocks and adorned with basic furnishings. It was a simple bed, desk with detachable holopad, and an attached fresher. There were no windows, but a high opening in the ceiling that revealed the slightest view of starlight in the distance.

"You should bathe, you reek of Hux." I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, but quickly uncrossed them and looked at him in shock.

"Wait, bathe?" Surely I misheard him; the luxuries of a bath were few and far between.

"Yes, you're not on the Finalizer anymore." I peeked in and saw that the fresher was enormous, and in the center the rock had been dug out into a large circle, steps descending down into a pool of water.

"There are natural hot springs below us. You'll appreciate it once you begin training. Be ready tomorrow morning, I'll send a droid with breakfast to wake you. You'll find clothes in the dresser." Kylo Ren walked towards the door to leave but paused with his hand resting on the doorframe before turning around, his cape whirling about with him.

"Oh and Lieutenant, prepare yourself to meet the others, they aren't near as friendly as I am." Oh boy, I could only imagine how bright and cheerful they were. Perhaps I could look forward to hearing all of them make comments about my romps with Hux as well.

"In fact, Jiko Ren used to be in this exact room." There was a hint of glee in his tone as if to goad me, and I decided to appease him.

"Why isn't he in here now?" I asked, the dark mask continuing to stare back at me.

"He plotted to escape to the Resistance base. Snoke discovered his plot and cut off each of his extremities."

"Fun." I barely looked up at him as I moved to examine the Holopad and what contents I had access to. I could almost hear the frown he undoubtedly had at my response under the mask.

"Sleep well." He left and the blast door closed. I sat on the bed and let myself fall back, looking up at the starlight above, fearing the unknown future before me, and wishing desperately to be back in my bunk on the Finalizer.


	7. The Pain and the Fury

A/N: Wow guys, thanks for the love! I've been spending the past couple of months working on "Sweet Dreams" but am making my way back to my Star Wars fics. This chapter is a little shorter but is some necessary bridging to get the plot moving forward. Enjoy!

I was startled awake by a protocol droid hovering above me.

"Do wake up Miss Vickers. Master Ren has requested you eat and dress within the hour." As I opened my eyes and registered what the droid was telling me, I got view of my surroundings and the events of the past day came barreling back to me. I sat up and looked over where some sort of oxblood red training tunic and close-fitting leggings were laid out for me, along with a plate of some steaming brightly colored fruits and a white starchy substance.

"Thank you, I'm sure I can have it under control from here." The droid looked sideways at me and then shuffled out the blast door. As the hours had passed by, and the terror and anxiety of the situation permeated through, I had forgotten just how truly hungry I was, and the hot food hit all the right spots. It didn't take long for me to pull my hair back into the normal slicked back bun, and don the clothing provided. Conveniently, the fresher had been pre-stocked with any basic toiletry items that were a necessity.

Almost on the dot, the blast door opened and Kylo Ren stomped in, mask in tact but hooded robe discarded and only a black tunic, leggings, and gloves remaining.

"Good, you're ready. Follow me Lieutenant." I obediently followed, my stomach doing somersaults in regards to what was awaiting me. In an attempt to calm myself, I tried to remember that it was this or death, so there really wasn't any more to lose. Fitting. We stopped at a dimly lit circular chamber, and as we walked through the opening of the cavern I saw six individuals, all sharing similar black and silver masks as Kylo Ren along with black tunics and robes. Based on their body types, it appeared as though three of them were female and four were male, but it was unclear given the attire what species they were. As we entered they stopped to turn towards us.

"We are the Knights of Ren." Kylo said in his thick mechanical voice. He lifted his hand and a wood training staff flew from off the wall across the room into it. He expertly flicked it around himself and then handed it to me.

"Your training begins now." Before I could register what was happening, they had surrounded me. It hardly seemed like a fair fight, aside from no one else possessing a weapon. One lifted their hand and I felt my windpipe closing quickly, gasping for air, I still managed to strike a blow to the attacker and suddenly felt myself free. Another came from behind me and kicked me swiftly in the back so I fell onto my face. When he got closer to deliver another kick I swung my legs around and sent him to the ground. No sooner than he hit the floor, I felt myself rise up into the air and fly against the wall, painfully smacking into it and crumbling to the ground.

"Why doesn't she use the force?" One asked Kylo, who stood with arms crossed, silently watching in the shadows.

"I thought you said she was powerful." Another said snidely, and I cried out as I flew to the other wall and smacked against it, this time seeing blood begin to dribble from my nose, leaving a crimson smear on my hand as I wiped it away. No sooner than I hit the floor, my body was raised again and sent careening into the other wall, only this time, I heard a sickening splintering as my leg gave way from underneath me. I sputtered out the coppery metallic taste of blood onto the floor, and tried to crawl forward, only to collapse. My breathing became labored and I realized based off of the sharp stabbing inside of my chest, I had fractured a rib.

"Enough." His voice said, disappointment drenching the word.

The onslaught stopped and I rolled over onto my back, screaming out in agonizing pain, as footsteps approached. That stupid blank mask stared up above me.

"Do you concede for today?" He asked plainly, hands laced behind his back, chest out proudly.

"No." I stated it with confidence, even as the world began to blur around me, I tried to stand on my leg only to fall down again as my vision turned to blackness.

When I woke up, I was in some sort of medical chamber. I had been deprived of bacta, but my wounds were at least wrapped and splinted. A thick woven bandage covered my bare chest, and my leg was stabilized with stiff metal rods.

"I was hoping to see some of this power you displayed on the Finalizer." The voice sardonically called out to me from the corner and I turned my head to see Kylo Ren sitting on a sleek black chair staring at me in the silence of the room save for the constant beeping and chirping of medical equipment.

"It's not something that I can control, it just, happens." I tried to prop myself up and felt the sharp stabbing pain in my chest grow into blinding intensity, causing me to shout out and clench the sheets at my side so hard my knuckles turned white.

"FUUUUCCCKKKING HELL. Can you give me something for this please?" I looked over at him and knew my eyes had to be pleading, I wondered how well he could see under that thing.

"We all went through this. The pain is necessary. It will make you stronger. Let it fuel you." Even through the robotic sound of the mask his voice was cold, devoid of any emotion or sympathy.

"Necessary, sure." He ignored my comment and continued.

"Close your eyes." I sighed loudly and closed my eyes to blackness.

"As you breathe imagine as if your breath is a trickle of water from a mountain, flowing outward to the sea, to an endless sea." While I internally rolled my eyes, I followed his suit, imagining that some part of me was flowing with this stream, and as I imagined it I felt something. Something small, but significant, and in the darkness I could make it out. It was as if everything around me was surrounded in colorful lights, so much so that I could see the room I was in, and if I pushed further I could see the structure we were in, beyond to the planet which we sat, beyond to the expanse of the universe. It felt…calming, peaceful, and in a way, whole.

"Do you feel it?" He asked.

"Yes, I think I do." My voice sounded dreamy, almost drug induced as I heard his voice in my mind and it sounded like it was far away in the distance.

"Good. Now, reach within for a purpose, something that motivates your intent, what you desire. Feel that desire grow inside of you and push it outwards into that expanse, push it with your energy and make it so."

As I breathed steadily, ignoring the pain, I saw his outline again. I saw the energy surrounding his frame in the darkness, and I desperately wished to push him out of his chair. I lifted my hand up and I grunted as I hurdled out towards him and pushed at the outline. When I opened my eyes I saw him lift and fall to the ground, leaving me laughing despite the pain in my ribs.

"That's not funny." He growled as he stood himself up.

"Maybe not to you, I think it's pretty funny."

"Get some rest while you're in here, once you can support your weight again we'll continue." He opened the blast door and once again vanished.

Only a few short days passed until I was back in the training room again, the process repeating. The cycle went on for a week. I would get pulverized in a matter of minutes, sent to med bay for mild treatment without any kind of relief from the resulting pain, and then a couple of days later I was back out in the open again. My body was frail, beaten, broken, and tried, and my mind could hardly focus through the mind splitting and nearly constant pain throughout my body.

"You need to let go, you're still holding back, holding on to old formalities and constraints!" Kylo nearly yelled at me from the corner, his frustration at my lack of progress clear, and my frustration at the situation growing to an all-time high.

"What would your father think of you? Seeing you so fightless and defeated. Useless. Not trying hard enough." I felt something stir inside of me at the mention, that empty pitting feeling of insignificance, never being good enough. I thought back to my youth, my father's relentless belittlement, pushing so hard for perfection that was unobtainable. It began to burn deep within, like a small flame that had suddenly been doused in fuel.

"Stop." I looked over at him with pure malice, and his voice changed, clearly pleased he had found a button he could push.

"Or what about Hux? Isn't your fearlessness part of what attracted him to you? I know it is because I can see through that miserable leach's thoughts as plain as day. He would be disgusted with you now." That was enough of a push to send the fire pooling over like hot lava, filling every vein, tingling, splintering through every extremity until it consumed my entire body.

"STTTTOOOOOPPPPPP!" I screamed, finding myself suspended in the air, and all of them surrounding me flew in every direction against the wall, the low lights in the room shattered into nothing, and sent the room into total blackness save for small blue sparks that came off of my fingertips. Terrified I fell back to the ground in a pile, staring in horror down at my hands trying to figure out what had happened and where it had come from. While I couldn't see their faces, the Knights of Ren froze in place, not uttering a word.

"Welcome to the Knights of Ren."


	8. No Guilt in Pleasure Here

The "training session" had definitely been climactic, and there seemed to be a noticeable abatement in the tension that had plagued the atmosphere since my arrival. As I breathed heavily on the floor, a black gloved hand reached down in front of me and helped me back up to my feet.

"Well Sonia, I believe a little celebration is in order. Get cleaned up and changed and have your droid take you to the main hall." Ren's tone was a bit different, pleased?

"Celebration?" I asked, not sure what the word meant in the current environment.

"Of course, the Knights of Ren enjoy indulgences just as much as battle." Shrugging slightly, I went back to my room still in a half stupor, brushing a sweaty strand of matted blonde hair from my head and scratching my forehead. The high of the release of energy had left me pleasantly drained, and tingling from head to toe. I stripped off the sweat drenched oxblood training attire and walked slowly to the steaming hot water in the natural spring. My eyes closed in total relaxation as the hot water soothed each muscle and I gently washed my skin and hair. When I finished and went back to my room, I noticed a very expensive looking black gown laying out on the bed, assuming it was intended for me to wear. When I put it on it felt foreign to me, much like the formal gown had, yet it fit my curves closely and looking at my reflection I felt very feminine and powerful.

I let my hair hang in natural loose curls around my shoulders, a welcome change from the tight bun I usually wore. The black made my pale skin and blonde hair stark in comparison, but it didn't bother me. Without much time to spare, the droid retrieved me and I followed through the cavernous corridors until we arrived in a sunken room with a pit of fire burning in the middle, and rich red sofas surrounding it.

The others were already there, unmasked, in typical formal attire of various shades and prints of black. There was a Zabrack male with the typical horns who was wearing a black tunic with maroon sashing, a human female with fire red hair wearing a tight black dress with a dramatic slit exposing most of her muscular leg, a Twi'lek female with cascading robes of black and emerald, an Arkanian male with white long hair, wearing a half cape of gold over black robes, a woman with light purple skin and tattoos and a shaved head, and two more human males that each had dark, nearly black hair, one with pale skin and the other darker skin with almond eyes.

As I walked in I found my eyes focused on one of the human males. My heart skipped a beat when I met his eyes. They were dark and brown and soulful, and his face was chiseled, perhaps a bit more severe in some places than what was conventional, but it made him handsome in his uniqueness. I swallowed and my eyes darted down in embarrassment after I realized I'd likely been staring at him a bit too long. As I timidly walked in to take a seat among them, I found my eyes slowly drifting back to look upon him again, quickly shifting once he became aware in an attempt to conceal myself. Foolish as it was, considering he could surely read minds at his will, he likely could see right through me, and the smirk that played at the corner of his mouth merely confirmed my assumption. He grabbed a decanter sitting on the table and filled a silver goblet with bright red liquid before offering it my direction.

"Drink." That voice, it was familiar, but softer. Surely this wasn't Kylo Ren? I reached forward but stared at him trying to see if I could confirm somewhere in his mind to see if I was right.

"Why are you looking at me that way?" He asked flatly. I felt myself shoved out of his head, which only validated that it was him.

"Why do you ask questions you already know the answers to?" I asked him, then leaned back a bit casually, one arm wrapped around my stomach as I took a sip from the goblet with the other, rolling my eyes in the process.

"Just surprised I guess, I was imaging you were some old, decrepit, likely disfigured person if you felt so compelled to hide your face all the time." He took a seat beside me and leaned forward, the familiar spiciness I remembered from our dance hovering off of him.

"And I see you are somewhat pleased to find that isn't the case." His hands were still gloved, and he took a drink of his own. I leaned forward as if about to tell him a secret, and then looked around before continuing on.

"So, why do you hide it then?"

"That, dear Lieutenant, is a story for another time. We're here to celebrate you, not trudge up old stories of the past." He stood up again and cleared his throat.

"Fellow Knights of Ren, we celebrate tonight the initiation of a new apprentice. Let's begin the ceremony."

Ceremony? I didn't recall any mention of a ceremony. The other members all ceased their conversations and stood up. The Zabrack unsheathing a blade that hung at his waist, slicing it through his hand, and letting the blood drip into a large cup of the red fiery liquid. He passed them around and the others followed suit.

"Drink, and pledge yourself to your new brothers and sisters in the Clan of Ren." The woman with fiery red hair said loudly. She shoved the cup my direction, her lip curled up in a partial snarl, making it quite obvious she was not a fan of my being there. For a second I hesitated, and then reminded myself that this was the only choice unless I was ready to die, which I wasn't. The liquid burned down my throat but also felt warm, like there was an invisible blanket wrapping around my body and binding me.

"Repeat the words with us. In passion there is strength, power, and victory." The Zabrack spoke, his voice deep and almost a growl.

" _Through passion there is strength, power, and victory._ " I recited the words with them.

"Through victory with the Force, I shall be free."

" _Through victory with the Force, I shall be free._ "

"I bind myself through the Force to the Knights of Ren, and we will fight together until the day we become one with the Force."

" _I bind myself through the Force to the Knights of Ren, and we will fight together until the day we become one with the Force."_ Kylo Ren took a step forward from the group towards me.

"Now, bend over and lift up your dress." I crossed my arms and shook my head in denial.

"Uh, excuse me? Just where exactly are we going wi…"

"The Mark of Ren is a symbol of the dedication your pledge to your brothers and sisters as you begin formal training to hone your skills." Kylo grabbed a metal rod that was sitting in the fire and turned it a few times with a gloved hand before picking it up and swinging it casually at his side. The members all took steps forward and shifted various articles of clothing to display marks which they all shared. I took a deep breath and kneeled on top of the couch as I lifted the dress up to expose one of my legs. Shoving me forward I felt a gloved leather hand at my backside, reminding me pleasantly of my dear Hux and the time we shared together before there was a searing, burning pain, and the smell of scorched flesh in the air.

"FUCK!" I shouted, and he replaced the branding device back into the fire, slapping some sort of covering over it and slid my dress back down into place.

"Let me guess, no bacta, because the pain is supposed to fuel me."

"Not exactly, more the bacta will heal the mark, the alcohol is for the pain. Drink up." There was a collective cheer and music began to play as the Twi'lek made the rounds with the decanter and filled up everyone's cup.

"I believe I'm beginning to see a bit more of the, situation, you had with Hux." He said over his shoulder to me, as we watched the others dance around the fire to the music and smoke from a long pipe.

"I don't need to be continually made to feel guilty about what I take pleasure in." I drank and stared at him directly, growing tired of this conversation.

"There is no guilt in pleasure here. That's the way of the Jedi. We encourage pleasure, passion, anger, emotion. Those things that make us who we are, that remind us we're alive. Most importantly though, we believe in celebrating. The Jedi bemoan their existence, we seek out living life to its fullest in all respects." He spoke confidently, proudly, and as he explained it, it seemed to make perfect sense to me. The allusive Jedi were all but a fairy tale, but it was hard to think about the Force without thinking of them. They were supposedly pious sworn defenders, but it seemed the few remaining had pledged loyalty to the Resistance and the Rebellion before it, helping to kill thousands of dedicated members of the First Order.

"Your Father, he taught you to be ashamed of those things, to hide them. That's why he affects you so, leaving you with constant guilt." I gritted my teeth and projected past his shields with fervor.

"And your Father? You resent him for casting you aside and abandoning you, so you long to win favor with Snoke to prove your value." He squinted his eyes and took a drink, clearly irritated at the invasion.

"Never do that again. You won't like the consequences." His voice was menacing and his pointed his finger decidedly in my face.

"Extend me the same courtesy and I won't." I grew tired of his mood swings, and decided to get up and get to know the others. I started with the fiery redhead, knowing full well by her expressions what she thought of me, making a play to win her favor.

"Sonia Viggers." I stated, extending my arm in her direction which she shook with a look of slight disgust.

"Oh yes, we all know who you are. Kylo hasn't been able to shut up about you. Anya Ren." She extended a hand and I reached out and surprised her by kissing it. Her eyes widened in shock at the gesture.

"So what's your story Viggers?" She smoked from long slender pipe and blew rings with the smoke into the air.

"Farm girl. Academy. Officer. Leuitenant."

"Driven. I like that. So you gave beloved Hux a little ride did you?" She leaned over and winked at me, taking another puff from the pipe.

"What can I say, I'm a sucker for a redhead." She let out an unrestrained laugh and coughed smoke up in the process.

"You know, I think you and I will get along just fine. Liyah, come over here!" The bald tattooed woman gracefully sauntered over, the black scarfs she wore trailing behind her and around the pistol that was holstered on her thigh.

"Did you know that our Sonia here claimed Hux?"

"Hux? Ha! What exactly was that like, better yet, why don't you show us?" She lifted an eyebrow and I caught her point, blushing slightly.

"Come on now, we're the Knights of Ren, there are no secrets between us." I sighed, perhaps she was right, and if I shared then maybe it would give me a chance to develop some trust and respect. I closed my eyes and held both of their hands, replaying the memories in my head.

"Not bad, certainly not what I would have expected from him. Better not say it too loud though, Kylo is getting jealous." I looked off into the corner and saw Kylo glaring our direction, pouting by himself on one of the cushions, tightly clenching his goblet.

"Is he always like that?" I whispered to them through sips, interested to learn more about the handsome man hiding behind the mask.

"Most of the time, wound up tight like a spring, until he snaps, which is…a lot of the time." The three of us laughed together, and I found myself already growing a bit more comfortable and at ease. The night carried on in the same way, and I spent most of my time getting the ins and outs of all of the members from Liyah and Anya. I exchanged pleasantries with the others, but did not engage in much more conversation as they all seemed to be caught up in their own. The red liquor flowed and the festivities continued until all that was left of the fire were glowing embers. One by one, the members left the room, until I found myself alone with Kylo Ren.

"You've done well." He said staring plainly at me.

"Not that I've had another choice, but thank you." I looked down to the floor, slightly embarrassed by the compliment, unsure how to react.

"You know, you are the only member of Ren that has been able to emit any Force lightning. It's extremely rare. The Emperor is the only one I ever heard with the ability." I swallowed, not knowing whether to be proud or terrified.

"There's no need to be afraid, you should be proud to have a great natural power. You just need our guidance to learn how to control it better. I'll help you."

"You know, this is all very overwhelming. It wasn't that long ago I was on the Finalizer, just struggling to get the good old boys in the leadership ranks to hear me out. Now you're telling me I have power to rival the Emperor? You can't be surprised that I find that somewhat hard to believe."

"One of your weaknesses is your self-doubt. Stop caring what the others think, trust in yourself, in the Force, in us. We have the will, the power, and the authority to accomplish great things." Smiling at him I sat down my cup, walked over, and set a hand on his shoulder.

"Good night Kylo." My dress trailed behind me as I left and headed back to my room, and as I lay in my bed that night buzzing from the night, I found my thoughts drifting back to the dark brown eyes and the chiseled face. I had seen the man behind the mask, and tried to push away any guilt I felt in the pleasure of thinking of him.


	9. Who Are We to Stay Away?

_A/N: Things are going to get real in this chapter. And by real I mean this Chapter is pretty much all sex. You've been warned._

The room was nearly pitch black, save for the moonlight pooling in through the sparse opening in the stone wall, only a few hours having passed since I made my way back and drifted off into sleep.

My hair still carried a faint boozy smell of vanilla and crème covered berries, and it pooled around my face as I rolled around in sleep. I was having a pleasant dream of being back home on the farm, tending to a few small furry animals when suddenly the ground began to shake violently. In the distance, thunder rumbled and jagged lightning tore through the clouds, in bright red flashes. The scenery changed quickly, and I was back on the Finalizer. My uniform was gone, and I wore the same dress I had on that evening, awkwardly out of place.

The lights in the hallway were bright and sterile against the shiny black surfaces, and I walked towards something I knew was in the distance. Black floating fabric trailed behind me as I quickened my steps, finally reaching a room at the end of the hallway. The walls in it were bright, white, but the bed and furniture were still black, and as soon as I stepped in, the door closed behind me.

To my left, Hux walked in, donning his normal uniform and cloak, as per usual not a strand of hair was out of place. To my right, Kylo Ren approached and stopped, black cloak and usual attire in place, removing his mask and half-hazardly tossing it to the ground.

No words were spoken, but I could feel all the heat in the world, like the room was pure fire and we were all nothing but engulfed in the flames. Hux ran a gloved hand along the side of my neck facing him, his rich scent of freshly laundered uniforms, clean leather, firewhiskey, and a hint of smoke trailing his every move. Loosely, he ran his fingers under a strap of the dress and let it trail down, bending his head to taste the skin underneath blissfully and frustratingly soft.

Kylo approached, but rather than a delicate assault, he was much more pointed. Firmly he pushed the dress down, ripping it along the seam, sucking on my neck and biting so I could feel the blood flow increase. His dark black hair touched my face, and his spicy, peppery, amber scent came free, and I moaned out loud as each one of them continued their assaults.

"Would you like to have her first?" Kylo said, eyeing up at his red-haired nemesis.

"With pleasure…" Hux purred in response.

"Get on your hands and knees." He demanded, and I willingly obliged him.

"My my Lieutenant, first you abandon your post, and then I find you without proper uniform. You're a disgrace to the First Order, clearly you are in need of reconditioning." I breathed heavily in anticipation, hearing the bravado in his tone.

"DID YOU HEAR ME LIEUTENANT?" He said firmly, grabbing my hair and yanking it back so his breath was in my ear.

"Yes sir."

"It seems in your file that you have quite a reputation for disobeying orders?"

"Only when the orders are stupid sir." Kylo laughed in the distance, arms crossed and leaning up against the wall, which only angered Hux and made him furrow his brows.

"Well then. It seems you are in need of a lesson." He had somehow procured a riding crop, and he slapped it against the side of his flared uniform pants. The edge of the leather slid up my leg and then whipped through the air to slap me on the ass, causing me to suck in air at the strike.

"If you insist on acting like an uncivilized mare, then perhaps I should treat you like one." He slapped again, this time the stinging lingered.

"Do you know what we did to problematic mares where I grew up on Arkanis?" I kneeled silently, as my hair fell over my face.

"ANSWER ME!" He slapped hard again.

"No sir."

"We rode them until they finally broke." I heard him unfasten his pants, and I grew flush at the anticipation of him, feeling him slowly enter me and begin to thrust.

Kylo paced around us, studying each move, biting on his bottom lip. It was positively electrifying to have him watch us, clearly enjoying the show, only heightening the pleasure of the act. His pants were visibly tight, and his arousal was undeniable. I closed my eyes as Hux began to quicken his pace, grabbing onto my hips to gain more leverage. Inside I could feel the energy pooling, swelling, ready to explode, it was more than I had ever felt before, like the normal wave had swelled into a typhoon. As I continued to moan and nearly screamed out in release, I was woken up by the loud sound of footsteps.

My breath was hitched and I felt wetness pooled between my legs, painfully aroused and in need of release. The owner of the loud steps finally opened the blast door.

"LEUITENANT. Learn to quiet your thoughts, they are far too LOUD." My eyes were hooded with lust, as I looked at him, he had his shirt for the night and his muscles nearly glistened in the moonlight.

"Please…"I said to him, running my finger along my collarbone to try to entice him. I saw his adam's apple bob with a swallow.

"Did you smoke the pipe?" He demanded, clenching his jaw.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked in confusion.

"Did you or didn't you?" He took a step forward and crossed his arms.

"I did, the others were, I figured it wasn't a big deal." He breathed heavily.

"It was Anya wasn't it…"

"What does it matter?" I asked desperately, my voice beginning to groan.

"They were smoking angorium. It's an herb that enhances force ability and heightens…the senses." His eyes grew deeper as I looked at him, and imagined all of the things I wished I had been able to experience with him in my dreams. There was something in his eye, perhaps registering my thoughts.

"Is this a path you want to go down?" He asked darkly.

"Heavens I want you," I breathed, desperate for release.

"Rest assured, I'll purge Hux from your mind once and for all." He strode forward and sat next to me, a large hand lacing through my hair and forcing my mouth into his. Each move was strong and determined, skilled and premeditated. He smelled just like in my dreams, and I absent mindedly rubbed my hands against the hard muscles in his back to pull him closer.

He lifted the delicate material over my head so I was naked before him, and the pleased sound he made at the sight encouraged me that my body was to his liking. He took time to suckle at each one of my small breasts before trailing downwards to focus on my entrance. His finger rubbed expertly at all the right places while his tongue did unspeakable things.

"Please, I won't last much longer like this." I gasped out to him as I tugged gently at his long silky hair.

"I can feel you, you will, and I promise it will be unlike anything you've ever felt before." I moaned in pleasure as I felt an orgasm, only to immediately have it replaced with the build-up of another. I stood up and pulled him with me, unfastening his pants and pushing them down to the floor to reveal more delectable muscle and a sizeable member that was already at attention. Extending him the same courtesy, I took him into my mouth and lavished him with every movement I could think of. His responses indicated that my ministrations were not in vain, and I felt him finally moan out and spill into my mouth, as I unexpected had a similar orgasm of my own.

In one movement he hoisted me up with his arms, forcing me over to the blast door as he used it for leverage. He buried himself into my neck and bit every sensitive spot he could find as he decidedly thrusted. Our energy seemed to merge together with the physical contact, and each thrust felt magnified in sensation. It was unlike anything I had ever felt before.

After the third orgasm came and went, something else began to build, something I had never felt before. He pulled me down with him to the floor, and I rode him as he pushed up to meet me. The pleasure was all consuming, the energy was enormous, and he began to quicken his pace frantically as if he felt it too. I could no longer bear having it all inside of me and sent it careening outward in the most blissful of feelings, making sounds I had never made before, Kylo holding onto me as he made the same animalistic noises of pure pleasure. When I looked down I saw we had risen off of the ground and then slowly floated back down like a feather in the wind.

The level of exhaustion I felt was incomparable to anything in memory. It felt as though my body had purged everything out of itself, and was slowly recharging. I simply rolled over to the side and panted as my limbs still felt pleasurable tingling.

I heard an uncharacteristic chuckle from next to me.

"So, are you still thinking about that moron Hux?" He breathed out, equally exasperated, next to me.

"Who?" I barely got out through breaths.


	10. The Terrible Truth That Hurts the Most

I woke up in the morning, a bit groggy and a bit sore between my legs, but ultimately relaxed and at ease. I rolled over to pat the bed next to me only to find it was empty, the slightest indentation remaining to signify anyone had been there at all. My mind replayed the events of the evening before, unexpected as they were, and each indescribable and delectable moment of pleasure. My nature getting the best of me, I couldn't help but yearn for the feeling again.

There wasn't much time to dwell on it, however, as no sooner than I woke the droid arrived to ready me for the day. After donning the normal training garb and straightening myself up, I headed to the training room where most of the others were already waiting. As soon as I entered I could sense him, in the most intoxicating way, like his presence was wafting towards me and wrapping me up like the curling branches of a tree. In the background I heard a few of the others snicker. He walked over and stood silently behind me, the close proximity allowing me to feel the heat off his body, smell his spicy musk, and transport myself back to the previous night.

"Don't." He gruffly whispered behind me, and everything pleasing shattered like glass and fell to the floor.

"I merely did you a favor, don't by any means think this is a precursor to some sort of…relationship. We are both Knights of Ren and as such we treat all in the clan the same. Put it out of your mind." I stood frozen, understanding only slightly what he was saying. Basically, he was icing me out, assuming I was getting clingy when I certainly wasn't. Not only did I begin to question if he had been disappointed by my body or that my performance was lackluster, but I grew angry. I had worked far too hard in this life to be some simpering pining creature so desperate for another. I hadn't asked for any of this, I hadn't asked to come here, hadn't asked to be ingratiated into some secret society, hadn't asked to be essentially drugged. And yet, here I was, being spoken to like some child in a condescending tone. Made to feel as though I had caused all of this through my own simplistic stupidity, and weakness.

"How dare you." I spat from clenched teeth. "I didn't ask for this, and if for one second you think last night means I am just dying to worship at your feet, you are SORELY mistaken." I saw his eyes darken and his jaw and fists begin to clench as an electricity grew in the air.

"Sonia! You train with me today." It was Liyah the bald headed tattooed female. Saved. I strode with determination over to her as she grabbed me by the arm and led me outside of the room to another smaller chamber.

"You must not provoke him." She said sternly.

"I wasn't provoking him, he was acting like a Kowakian monkey lizard and I was merely calling him out on it. Besides, I wouldn't even be in this mess if Red didn't decide to have some fun and pass me the pipe that apparently sets a fire to your loins." She chuckled a low laugh.

"Anya was only trying to help both of you, wound so tight, if you don't loosen, you will only end up snapping. Kylo Ren has a tendency to snap."

"You don't say?" I cocked an eyebrow with sarcasm and tied my hair back into a ponytail behind my head.

"Yes. And when he does snap it is not something you want to be around for, very powerful in the Force, very powerful but without full control. Again, it is not wise to provoke him."

"Sounds like avoidance will be best, good to know." Liyah handed me a blindfold, and motioned for me to put it on, which I did.

"This room is designed to quiet the world, allow you to focus easier, find the Force within. Sit and listen to my voice as I guide you." She grabbed me by the hand and led me to the center of the room, then gently pushed down on my shoulder.

I sat down, closed my eyes, and followed her voice.

"Reach out beyond yourself, feel the fire which grows inside of you and reach it out towards the world. Out from this shelter, out from this planet, into the galaxy." I felt this fire inside, projected it out reached beyond, and focused on where it led me.

"Tell me what you see." Her voice trailed behind in my mind as if she were far away.

"I see my mother. She's…" I stammered, as I saw the form of my mother, laying on her bed with my father by her side, holding her hand. Looking further I saw the motion of her internal workings, something attacking, breaking her down.

"She's…she's dying. What is this?" I gulped and became angry, a terrible drooping sorrow filled me inside and tore me down.

"Hard to say, could be the past, could be the present, or the future. The future is always cloudier, harder to know what the outcome will be as so many factors are at play." Her voice was steady and unaffected. Almost, pleased, like I had told her I saw rainbows and sunshine.

I could feel my heart ache within my chest, it brought me down, and I could still see her, feel her pain. It made my insides break.

"If she's dying I need to go to her." I said plainly.

"It's the terrible truth that hurts the most. You cannot leave, only the Supreme Leader can give you permission." My painful sorrow turned to anger as I was reminded of my essential captivity in this matter. The anger rose within my chest and pooled together, I felt it grow stronger, harder, pulling the energy of my surroundings towards it forming a ball of fire within me. My breathing grew heavy and strained as sweat slowly streamed down my face.

"Sonia, you need to channel this fear and anger, it can be your ally. Direct it towards your enemies." Enemies? What a fanciful thought that was. My enemies were all around me, blocking my path, keeping me here. To direct this at my enemies? A light clicked in my head, a small smirk spread across my lips, and I continued to pull in the energy around me, building bigger, stronger, like the swell of a storm. The air around me began to spin in a flurry.

"Sonia, let it go, you are going to cause too much damage, come back to the ground, ground yourself." I ignored her voice, instead remembering the feeling of the electricity that shot from my fingers before, only this time, I did not target a room, but I targeted the entire base. The fireball grew to enormity and I projected it out to each Knight of Ren, each droid that serviced them, any potential enemy around me and suddenly let it snap like a stretched band of rubber.

There was an audible snap as I pushed it all out, blue lightning filling the room, and it left me feeling as though someone had sucked out my insides with a vacuum. I pulled the blindfold off hastily and saw as Liyah lie motionless on the ground. I wasted no time as I barreled through the door, noting that all the other members were in the same state through the hallways and rooms. Hesitating for only a brief moment, I saw Kylo Ren in a mass on the floor.

Not knowing how much time there would be, as they all were still very much alive, I navigated through the maze of hallways to find the hanger. Sure enough, there were a few shuttles strewn about, and I quickly entered one and began the starting sequence.

 _ **What do you think you're doing?**_

"Fuck off unless you want me to shock the shit out of you again."

 _ **There is no escape.**_

"I get that, but I have more important matters at hand right now. Chase me all you'd like, see if I care."

 _ **You will be punished.**_

"Great, I've gone through reconditioning at least a dozen times, do your worst." The ignition sequence was completed, and I saw a dark figure standing back in the distance as I took off and set my course for Dantooine.


	11. All The Things Lost

_**What do you think you're doing?**_

"Fuck off unless you want me to shock the shit out of you again."

 _ **There is no escape.**_

"I get that, but I have more important matters at hand right now. Chase me all you'd like, see if I care."

 _ **You will be punished.**_

"Great, I've gone through reconditioning at least a dozen times, do your worst." The ignition sequence was completed, and I saw a dark figure standing back in the distance as I took off and set my course for Dantooine.

I guess some of me was still in a state of shock from all of it. As I piloted the shuttle, despite the steady vibrations, my mind was somewhere else. As if the world had dropped out from underneath me, I was left somewhere totally foreign and unfamiliar: an alternate reality. When I exited hyperspace, the warm glow of home met me. It had been only a few short years, but it was suddenly as if no time had passed at all. Quickly initiating a landing sequence, I targeted an open field I knew was abandoned, off the beaten path.

When I reached our hovel, the smell of warm caba rolls filled my nostrils and warmed me from the inside, a feeling that seemed to have left me for a long time. It was short lived once I opened the door and saw my mother laying on blankets and pillows with my father feeding her at her side.

"Sonia? Sonia! We've been trying to reach you for months!" He got up and embraced me almost painfully in a full hug, the familiar smell of smoke and dirt enveloping me.

"Trying to reach me?" I asked dazed, and a bit confused as I grasped his shoulders and pushed back.

"Yes, they rejected all of my attempts, they said you were on a special mission and were indisposed. What was it? 'Unable to be disturbed with trivial matters' I think that's how he put it."

"He?" I asked, trying to avoid clenching my teeth, a spark behind my eyes at the thought of someone knowingly keeping something like this away from me.

"The red headed one who looks like he just stumbled across a heap of bantha droppings." My insides boiled. They would all pay, but that would come later, so I tried to push the feeling to the back of my mind.

"It doesn't matter, you're here now aren't you? She's been asking for you." I slowly walked and knelt at my mother's side, taking her hand into my own and kissing it softly, brushing a strand of hair off of her forehead.

My mother looked right at me, but her eyes were vacant, and her lip quivered slightly. What I felt, through what I supposed was the Force, was a small steady ripple that barely had much motion left.

I felt burning behind my eyes, threatening to give way at any moment.

"Sonnniaa," she stammered out, "I've been waiting to say goodbye to you, I'm so glad you're here." It was barely more than a whisper, and the hint of a smile crept at the corner of her mouth. I lay down beside her and held her close in my arms, not wanting to let go and risk her slipping away from me, listening closely to make sure I could still hear the sound of her heart slowly beating.

"What happened?" I asked my father softly.

"They say genetic, nothing that bacta can fix, nothing that micro droids can find and attack. We could only make her comfortable." I tried to blink away the hot wet tears from my eyes to try to keep my composure.

"Well, I'm here now and I'm staying. I need her, and you." My father's eyes softened, only slightly, and a small smile fell on his lips.

"You never needed us or anyone else, that's why we're so proud of you."

"Not true, but thanks for saying so." I felt my mother's breath hitch in her chest, so I held her tighter. The glow of the force around her was dimming, it wouldn't be long now. My father and I exchanged concerned looks as the sound of her breathing stopped. The deafening silence was interrupted by the rumbling of space craft in the distance.

I felt something buzz in the back of my head. Hux. The sadness and loss from my mother was quickly and almost cathartically replaced by anger seething through me. He was here. Of course, Kylo would try to send him in instead. Thinking he could appeal to my emotions with our previous rendezvous where he could not. After all I'm just some simpering female, right? My arms slowly unwrapped from the mother and my fists balled up.

"Sonia?" My father asked, seeing the look on my face.

"I'm sorry Dad, I'm sorry that I haven't been there for you, and I'm sorry mom is gone, and I'm sorry I couldn't be a better daughter to you. Most of all I'm sorry I have to leave again, but please do not follow me. I have to deal with a few things and it's going to be much easier if you don't try to get involved." He stood up and shook his head.

"I figured with the First Order some of this may happen. I love you daughter, and I'm very proud of you. Please don't forget that." We held each other, but it wasn't like it had been with my mother. It was harder and sharper, more decided, almost dutiful. I rested my hand on my mother one last time as I grabbed my jacket. Her body was cold, but I felt her around me, a warm comfort, so unlike what I had felt the past several months. I nodded one last time at my father and exited, seeing the sleek metal outline of a shuttle in the distance, and a small figure in front of it.

My resolve stiffened with my body the closer I got to it. Finally I was close enough to make out his face, a look of, dare I say, concern painted across it. He opened his mouth to speak.

"Don't," I spat at him, and he shut his mouth and clenched his jaw, hands authoritatively clenched behind his back. I stood with my feet spread, and raised my hand up to direct my anger, sparing him and instead directing to his ship.

"You kept this from me?" I spat through gritted teeth as the sound of crunching metal indicated the ship was moving backwards. It seemed my lack of control was becoming more concerning as my power grew.

"You had bigger things to be occupied with than this…" he gently said.

"BIGGER THINGS!?" I projected out to him and saw right through his head, his face scrunching in discomfort.

"Oh, she's dead now by the way, not that you gave a shit. I wouldn't suspect you could ever understand, with a father like yours, and a whore of a mother who resented you for every second of every day." His lip curled.

"That's why it makes you feel so good to find someone you deem worthy and belittle her, reprimand her, and make her your pet, show who you really are. It's all just some stupid ploy to get back at her, and how her circumstance made your father hate you all the more." He took a few steps towards me and restrained himself from blowing up, even though it was clear he was becoming annoyed.

"Leuitenant, if you would kindly remove yourself from my thoughts, I would…"

"You would what, GENERAL?" He bit his lip and looked off to the side.

"I'd appreciate it Sonia." His eyes softened with his voice, there was something else there, affection?

"You just let them take me." The anger was quickly being replaced by sadness again, my mood swings worse than the deadliest PMS I'd ever been through.

"I didn't have a choice. I…I begged the Supreme Leader to let me keep you. He would have none of it. Look if you don't believe me," he challenged, closing his eyes as if to allow me access.

 _I reached out and found the memory. Snoke sat in his throne room on The Finalizer._

" _Supreme Leader, the girl is such an asset to us here…"_

" _Armitage, I can't expect your feeble mind to understand the great power and value of the Force."_

" _If you could provide your tutelage here then perhaps…" Hux suddenly was filled with incredible pain and brought to his knees._

" _You dare question my will? Don't challenge me further, or you may not be around to regret it. You are replaceable Hux, don't forget that. Kylo must instruct her like he has the others."_

I pulled back and took a deep breath. It seemed he was telling the truth, at least a little.

"So what's the order then? Back to the Finalizer or back to Kylo Ren?"

"Ren." He muttered. I forcefully intruded into his mind again.

" _Her power is untapped and unhinged. Her emotional instability will only make it worse. Against her better judgement she seemed to develop a soft spot for you, so go appeal to it. Her little tantrum has wasted precious time."_

I pushed out and he pursed his lips into a frown. My rage was slowly leaving, being replaced by sadness, hopelessness.

"Figures. Too much of a _coward_ to come himself."

"I really am sorry, I would have never wanted this for you, despite what you may think." Even without the force, his eyes spoke to his sincerity. For all of his faults, Hux did have a way of redeeming himself once in a while.

"I see that. I wish things could have been different." I said softly, moving closer to him. My heart ached and it begged for a pleasant distraction, comfort, and I found myself reaching out to touch his smoothly shaven face. I brushed a few strands of fire red hair from his face and smelled his signature spiciness coming from his neck.

"Fine. It appears we don't have another option, but do us a favor and take the longest route possible."

"With pleasure."


End file.
